And the time has come
when we have to take hard decisions in life
specially in morning….. Ki aaj nahaye ya nahin!
————-
Safety Tip for Winters !!
Stand in front of mirror
with one glass of water..
&
throw water on the mirror
&
say..
” Ahaa.. Nahaa liye..!! ” ๐
——— How to take bath in winters ———-
Mareez (Nurse se):
I love you! Tumne mera dil chura liya hai… <3
.
Nurse (Sharmate hue):
Chal jhuthe, humne to dil ko hath bhi nahin lagaya, humne to sirf Kidney churai hai!! ๐
English men have 1 month of festival in which they don’t eat non veg.
In their area there lived a sardaar who eats daily chicken.
Disturbed with the smell of chicken the English men decided to complain to Pope.
Pope called up Sardar and asked him to start following the Christian Religion and practice and he agreed.
So the Pope sprinkled holy water on Sardaar and said “You born as a “Sikh”, raised as a “Sikh”, but now you are a”Christian”!
.
Next day again Chicken smell came from Sardaar house.. So all English men visited Sardar’s house and they saw……
Sardaar was sprinkling Holy water on Chicken and said
“You born as ‘Chicken’, raised as a ‘chicken’ but now you are ..’Potato’.. ๐
Christians shocked!! sardar rock!
Father: Success is when signature turns into autograph.
Son: No dad,
.
Success is…
when Signature turns into
Black Label or Chivas Regal!
If you want to remove
wrinkles,
pimples,
face marks &
7 signs of skin-aging…
Then
you should try
‘Adobe Photoshop’!
Q: What is the biggest lie ever told in a hindi movie?
Ans:
Zeenat Aman in a bikini singing & asking “Kya dekhte ho”
and
Feroz khan answering: Surat tumhari..!!
Ek cheenti auto mein baithi.. aur ek per bahar rakha..
Driver: Madam per andar kar lo
Cheenti: Nahin, mujhe haathi ko laat marni hai..
Saala kal aankh maar kar gaya tha!! ๐
Bacha maa se –
Mom ye pregnant kya hota hai
Mom ne gusse se dekha toh wo samja ki gusse ko pregnant kehte hai…!!
2nd day bachcha school se aate hue
ek ladki ke upar gir gaya…!!
Ladki ki maa Chilla kar boli :
Ye kya badtameezi hai???
Bacha bola:
Gira teri beti ke upar hoon Aur pregnant tu ho rahi hai..!!
(I bet dis would surely make u laugh)
Twist in the tale
Girl : Hiiiiii
Boy : Hi
Girl : what happened?
Boy : nothing.
Girl : no say na what happened.. u look soo sad
Boy : I’ll ask u something.. and u have to tell me the truth.. will u?
Girl : ok ask
Boy : who is Rajesh loafer?.. He liked all your profile pictures and even your status updates on FB. who is the dumb idiot?
Girl : Pls dont say anything about him…!!
Boy: Is he your ex bf? r u still in love with him..???
Girl : why would i love him.. you are my only love…
Boy : Then is he ur brother?
Girl : No no… not like that…
Boy : Then who the hell is he?
Girl : shall we talk something else
Boy : So u r hiding something from me? u have that much close relationship with him…he s so much important to u ryt?
Girl : If i disclose the secret u will definitely scold me…
Boy : I m getting irritated now.. don’t test my patience..
Girl : Pls ya…
Boy : if u don’t tell me i will break our relationship ryt now…
Girl : i will tell u… but promise that u won’t scold me ok??
Boy : oh ok…
Girl : Hmmm… That is my fake profile… if no one likes my dp I like my pic through that login id and also post comments like cute, nice, hot, etc!!!!
Boy- Speechless!!
Mam to student: batao ye konsa tense hai
Main nach rahi hoon, Tum nach rahe ho, Wo nach raha hai, Hum sub nach rahe hai…
Student- Ma’am ye Mujra Continuous tense hai.. ๐
Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu
Munna: Kyun!
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.
————–
Munna: Ae Circuit ye Dr. log opration se pehle patient ko behosh kyun karte hai?
Circuit: Bhai! Bole to patient opration sikh gaya to Dr. Logo ki to wat lag jayegi na.
————–
Circuit: Bhai, apun ne kal Sania Mirza se phone pe baat ki.
Munna bhai: Arre wah, kya kaha usne.
Circuit: Usne kaha, Mamu wrong number!!
————–
Munna: ye Gandhi Bapu
har note me haste hi kyu rehte hei ??
Circuit: Simple hai
BHAI, Royenge to note
geeela ho jayenga na.
————–
Circuit- Bhai, Aamerican Rastrapati Kaha Rehta He?
Munna- DHOBIGHAT Pe
Circuit- Dhobighat Bole To?
Munna- English Me Bole To
WASHING TOWN”
————–
Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole to gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
.
Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke Salmaan Khan the !!!