Kareena ko ladka hua,
Bilkul kaala.
Saif ne kaha:
Tu gori, Main gora
ladka kaise kala…?
Kareena Replied:
Tu Hot, Main Hot …
Jal Gaya Saala..!!
Kareena ko ladka hua,
Bilkul kaala.
Saif ne kaha:
Tu gori, Main gora
ladka kaise kala…?
Kareena Replied:
Tu Hot, Main Hot …
Jal Gaya Saala..!!
Alia Bhatt to Rahul :
Agar tu bata de ki meri Tokri me kya hai.
toh tokri ke aadhe Ande tere..
Aur ye bhi batade ki Ande Kitne hai…
to 10 k 10 tere….
Aur agar ye Bhi bata de ki Ande Kiske hai… .
to ande dene wali Murgi bhi teri…. .
Rahul Gandhi :- Arey koi HINT TO De!! ๐ ๐
Salman ko jail ki sajaa sunane ke baad logo ke status updates..
Aishwarya Rai: Feeling safe
Vivek Oberoi: Feeling safe
Bandra ke footpathi: Feeling safe
Jodhpur ke hiran: Feeling safe
Ranbir Kapoor: Time to get marry, Feeling safe…!
Salman khan need this car now…
Rahul gandhi ke swagat mein band baza walo ki kutayi sirf isliye ho gayi kyunki unhone..
“TUM TO THEHRE PARDESI, SATH KYA NIBHAOGE”
bazaa diya tha!
—————
Rahul Gandhi kehte hai “Congress koi party nahi, ek Soch hai”
aur
Vidya Balan kehti hai “Jahan Soch hai, wahan Shouchalay hai”
Bada confusion hai bhai!!
—————–
After hearing Rahul for 3 hrs in a rally,
all the farmers collected 100 each and gave to Sonia Gandhi,
saying “you should also be compensated.. Fasal to aapki bhi kharab Hui hai”..
—————–
Rahul Gandhi called up Dominos Pizza and shouted at the branch manager, “You idiot, I just received delivery of pizza from your boy and there’s nothing on it!! No cheese, no toppings, nothing – it’s just a circle of plain bread! What the hell is wrong with you guys? I am gonna close you guys down permanently and get you personally arrested!!!”
10 mins later Soniaji calls back to Dominos and apologises to the manager, “Sorry, he opened the box upside down!”
#RahulReturns
—————
Rahul Gandhi : Aap Khet me kya kya banate ho ?
Farmer : Gehu, Chaval, Bajri
Rahul Gandhi: To Kissan Jam Kon banata he ?
Farmer : Bhai tuu chhuutti pe hi achcha tha.
—————–
—————–
Alia Bhat @ florist
.
.
Uncle ek April fool dena..
Anushka virat ka 1 run dekhane Sydney tak gayi…
.
True love Boss!! ๐
————————–
Ab dekh kar Australia ke tevar…
Rone laga anushka ka shohar… ๐
————————–
Anushka’s new status on FB : single!!
————————–
Anushka to Virat in pavilion after his dismissal today…
“Bouncer tha baby, duck karna chahiye tha na”
————————–
Anushka Bhabhi ke dheele pad gaye tevar
Na Saiya chale, na devar!!
————————–
Hum tere bin ab reh nahin paate,
Tum nahin aate to hum “Khel” jaate: Virat Kohli
ALSO SEE: Other trending jokes on Indian Team
Isi beech Alia Bhatt ne David Dhawan ko unke bete Shikhar dhawan ke shatak maarne par badhai di.
Yeh Sunkar David Dhawan phone par hi behosh ho gaye!! ๐
Honey Singh on phone:
Uncle,
Hai ghar,
hai paisa hai gadi.
.
2 jodi me ladki bhejo,
ladki hui humari
.
Uncle:
hai gun
hai talwaar
hai aari,
dubaara phone kiya to
khair nahi tumhari.
Honey singh: ok bye. ๐
Teacher – Who is SRK?
Alia Bhatt –
A guy who does ‘Titanic pose’ again and again,
without Titanic and without Kate Winslet.. ๐
Sunny Leone’s mom: Beti glass ka doodh pee lo…
.
.
.
Sunny: No mama, mujhe nahi peena.
.
.
Maa: Beti agar doodh nahi piyogi to badi kaise
hogi?
.
.
.
Sunny: maa aapko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi,phir
bhi aap badi ho gayi, Main bhi nahi piyungi to badi
ho jaungi.
.
.
.
.
Maa: Achi bachiyan zid nahi karti, Agar meri achi
beti ho to doodh pee lo, warna main tum se naraaz
ho jaungi.
.
.
.
Sunny: OK mama, aap kehti hain toh main doodh
pee leti hoon..gut….gut…gut…
.
.
.
Aur is tarah Sunny ne doodh pee liya..
.
.
Sunny Leone ka naam sunte hi message end tak
kitne gaur se padh rahe thhe !!!
.
.
.
Bas karo darindo…
.
.
Soch Badlo…
.
.
Toh Desh Badlega..