In India,
Sound is measured in ‘arnabs’,
laughter in ‘sidhus’,
silence in ‘manmohans’
&
chutiyapa in ‘digvijays’.
Top Funny Jokes for Hinglish
Salman Khan & Vivek Oberoi Jokes
Salman Khan and Vivek Oberoi, famous for Common Love Interest (Aishwarya Rai Bachchan) were both present at Narendra Modi’s Swearing in ceremony.
While there are joked floating on twitter for the very same reason… here are some of them to make you laugh.
1) Divided by Aishwarya, United by Modi
2) More than Modi-Sharif faceoff, I can’t wait to see Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan clashing
3) Vivek Oberoi and Salman Khan both attending Modi’s swearing in. Instead of swearing in, there will be lots of swearing at 🙂
4) Salman and Vivek oberoi both attending swearing in ceremony. After all it’s ‘Rai’sina Hill.
5) Modi can hold a peace talk between @BeingSalmanKhan and @vivek_oberoi as they are there, will be a bigger thing than with Pak..
6) By inviting both Vivek Oberoi and Sallu, Modi makes it clear that he doesn’t discriminate between those who wear hair pieces and those who don’t.
7) By bringing Salman Khan & Vivek Oberoi at one platform, Modi Ji has proved that his mission of making impossible possible has already started.
8) Vivek Oberoi is invited to NaMo’s oath-taking ceremony.. This is a major blow to Uday Chopra, Tusshar, Harman Baweja, Fardeen, Mimoh..
9) Out of 4000 guests at Modi’s ceremony, 3999 are busy ignoring Vivek Oberoi’s existence. Respect, swearing in ceremony.
10) Strange that Vivek Oberoi didn’t have time to vote, but today he had all the time to attend Modi swearing ceremony.
Top Alia Bhatt Dumb Twitter Jokes – #YoAliaSoDumb
Arjun kapoor : MODI needs to get 272
Alia Bhatt : in how many overs?
———
Teacher- Tell me the Version of JAVA !
Alia Bhatt – Mar JAVA, Mit JAVA, Lut JAVA, Main Sadke JAVA !
———
Parineeti – hey Alia, do you know any product of Microsoft
Alia – MS Dhoni
———
Arnab Goswami: Who will win the elections?
Alia – Aam Admi Party, coz its Aam ka season!
———
ALSO READ: Funny Nirupa Roy Jokes
Top Sagarika Ghose Jokes from Twitter – #YoSagarikaSoSecular
Sagarika Ghose to Mandira Bedi: Aapke parents ne aapka naam mandira kyun rakha, wo masjida ya Churcha bhi to rakh sakte the!
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that she orders either karele ka juice or neem ka juice but never the orange or mango (avoids Orange color)
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that she prepares Mango Shake with kachchaa aam coz it is always #green
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that wen she found her PC has 4 GB RAM, she immediately asked d IT Guy to install 4 GB JESUS n 4 GB IMAM.
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that when you search secular on google… It says “Did you mean Sagarika”
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that she never reads The Hindu newspaper, as she thinks its communal
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that she never plays Temple Run Game
#YoSagarikaSoSecular that she stops at red light as well as green light on a signal.
In india, everyone is expert in mobile problems
In India, everyone is expert about mobile problems..
.
.
.
.
However, the most common solution would be
“Switch off kar ke ON kar THEEK ho jayega”
Student’s law of tension
Student’s Law Of Tension..
.
.
Pressure Is Inversely Proportional
To The Number Of Days, Left For the Exams,
.
Where ‘KAL SE PADHENGE’
Remains Constant.!
Say “she is calling a cab” in one word
How do you say “she is calling a cab” in one word?
Guess…
Think… Its easy 😉
don’t know… ?
Answer is…
Vocabulary (Wo Cab Bula ri)
If ‘muuaah’ is a Kiss
If ‘muuaah’ is a Kiss..
Then…
‘Kalmuuaah’ is promise to kiss tomorrow…!!
Electricity in America, Japan and India
If the electricity goes in America they call the power house.??
In Japan, they test the fuse,
But In India, they check neighbour’s house,
sabki gayi hai naa, phir thik hai!!! 😀
Bihar Driving License Form
LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM —————————————— ———————
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen. For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no (Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no (Check karet box)
3. Age: (_)
Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no (Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____
M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____
Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed (Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no, leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color (Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson : ____________________________ (If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS Use thumb on y our lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand. NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS
Abu Azmi and Mulayam Singh Jokes after their remark on Rapes
Samajwadi Party chief Mulayam Singh Yadav sparked controversy with his comments on rape.
Now Abu Azmi has said that any woman who has sex outside marriage should be hanged, including rape victims!!
Abu Azmi meanwhile, wants to hang women who willingly have sex. I think he needs to hang up his boots & seek medical attention ASAP.
— Farhan Akhtar (@FarOutAkhtar) April 11, 2014
Why hang rapists yaar? Boys make mistakes. – Shri Mulayam Singh Yadav
Yes, boys make mistakes. So did your parents. #BackingRapists
— Sir Ravindra Jadeja (@SirJadeja) April 10, 2014
As if Mulayam Singh Yadav’s statement wasn’t atrocious enough, Abu Azmi backs him by stating that women who are raped should be hanged too.
— Divya Kapur (@ParadisalDreams) April 11, 2014
Pretty sure Abu Azmi is trying to win an election in Afghanistan.
— Ashish Shakya (@stupidusmaximus) April 11, 2014
After Mulayam Singh, Abu Azmi confirms that only way to enter SP is to have a sick mindset
— Sourabh Manna (@sourabhmanna) April 11, 2014
If Abu Azmi or Mulayam Singh ever appeared on Roadies i dont think they will need any more contestants for like 4 seasons.
— Fickleman (@ImSpacemanSpiff) April 11, 2014
“Hey Abu Azmi, wanna hear a joke?” “Yes” “Brains” “I don’t get it” “EXACTLY”.”
— Sangam (@SangamSharma17) April 11, 2014
New day, new clown in town – yesterday Mulayam,today Abu Azmi – verbal diarrhea #Elections2014
— Priyatham Rajagopal (@priyathamr) April 11, 2014
So Abu Azmi says rape victims shud b hanged!
My gay frnz plz rape him so that we can hang him!!
#BackingRapists
— Manisha Gupta (@manisha__gupta) April 11, 2014
Mulayam Singh is right. Hanging rapists might not be the right thing to do after all. Hanging netas just might work, though. #BackingRapists
— Paloma Sharma (@PalomaSharma) April 10, 2014