Wife ask –
why in all marriages girl sits on left side and
boy on right side?
Husband replies –
According to profit and loss statement a/c all
income is on right side and expenses are on left
side”…..
Happy march ending.
Latest Husband Wife Jokes Jokes
Husband’s World Cup Fever
“World Cup Fever”
Patni:
Poora din Cricket, Circket…!
Main ghar chhod ke jaa rahi hoon!
Pati:
Pehli baar Kadmoo ka behetareen istemaal!
Husband’s 3 Magical Words after fight with Wife
Wife (after a fight) – tell me those 3 magical words. .
Husband : I love u
Wife : No not this
Husband : I like u
Wife: Again No not these 3 words
Husband : I miss u
Wife : Getting more angry …. No no
.
Husband – Galti meri thi
Wife: Now you are right!
Patni ne likhi Shayari, Khaas apne pati ke liye
Patni ne khaas aapne pati ke liye likha:
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…
Jab tu 11:30 baje so jata hai,
To agle din subah tera whatsapp
last seen at 2:30am kyun batata hai..? 😀 😛
Biwi aur Coolie ek Platform par
Platform par dher saara samaan liye khadi ek aurat se coolie ne puchha:
Madam, Coolie chahiye?
Aurat ne badi vinamrata ke sath jawab diya:
Nahin bhaiya, Mere pati mere saath hain!! 😀
Jaledi ke female hone ke karan
Jalebi ke female hone ke 2 karan hain..
Pehli, wo Meethi hai…
aur
Dusra, Wo kabhi seedhi nahin ho sakti!
Husband, Missing Wife and Car
A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door… and then the husband started
crying…
Inspector: -Don’t worry sir,…We will find your car.
Moral – “men will be men”
Latest Funny Husband Wife Jokes in English
Wife : “why are u home so early?”
Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”
————————–
Doctor : How is your headache ?
Patient : she’s out of town.
————————–
Marriage is like a public toilet…
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in &
Those inside are desperate to come out.
————————–
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood
————————–
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
————————–
Wives are magicians……..
They can change anything into an argument.
————————–
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don’t have a wife!
Husband and Wife’s Shopping Idea
Wife saw board outside a shop
“Monsoon Offer Only for today” :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-
Excited Wife to Husband:
Give me Rs. 500,
I’ll buy 50 sarees..
Husband – Birbal ki maa, istri ki dukan hai vo !
Wife’s Report Card
Husband was shocked
to read wife’s
Old school report card..
The comment written on report card…
.
Very obedient and
Soft Spoken student !!!
Pati ke seene mein dard
Pati: Mere seene mein bahut dard ho raha hai.. Jaldi Ambulance ke liye call lagao!
Patni: Haan, Lagaati hoon, Apne mobile ka password batao..
Pati: Rehne do, Ab thoda theek lag raha hai!!