Beggar: Give me some food
Man: I will give you Vodka
Beggar: I don’t drink
Man: I will give you Cigarette
Beggar: I don’t Smoke
Man: I will take you to the horse races
Beggar: I don’t Gamble
Man: I will get you a Girlfriend
Beggar: No, I love my wife only
Man: Ok, I will give you food, but first you have to come to my house
Beggar: Why??
Man: I want my wife to see What state people get into when they don’t drink, smoke or gamble and only love their wife… ๐
Loving couple before Marriage:
‘Janu.. tum nahin to main nahin, main nahin to tum nahin’
The same couple after Marriage:
‘Maa kasam… Aaj tu nahin ya main nahin’ ๐
Wife (angry): I don’t believe this!! You forgot my birthday again? How Can you do this :-X
Husband (puppy eyes): How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?
Wife (clears throat and smiles): Liar!!
Husband (sign of relief): No darling, Sachchiiii! ๐
–
(Bach gaya beta, warna pit jata biwi se ๐ )
Kapil (to wife): Tere baap ki Jale par namak chhidakne ki aadat gayi nahin na?
Sumona: Kyun? Ab kya hua??
Kapil: Aaj Phir se puchh raha tha… “Meri beti se shaadi karke khush to ho na?”
Wife:
Jaanu! Aaj tumhari girlfriend night stay karne aa rahi hai…
Maine fridge mein Beer & Fresh Fruits salad banakar rakh diye hain…
Room freshener side table par hai.
Nahane ka soap with line fragrance aur towel bhi rakha hai
Main bachcho ko lekar mummy ke yaha ja rahi hoon, kal shaam tak aaungi.
Program me koi change ho to inform kar dena, main wahin aur din ruk jaungi~~
Issko kehte hain…
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“Mungeri Lal ke Haseen Sapne!!” ๐
Ladies ka seminar ho raha tha…
Topic tha: “Pati ke sath pyaar se kaise rahein!”
Un sab se puchha gaya ki kya apne pati se pyaar karti hain?
Sabhi ladies ne kaha… yes hum karte hain
Next question tha, ki aapne apne husband ko “I Love You” last time kab bola tha…?
Kisi ka jawab tha ‘aaj savere’, kisi ne bola ‘kal raat me’ aur kisi ne kuchh din pehle…
Ab, un sabse apne apne mobile se apne pati ko ‘I Love You, Darling’ SMS bhejne ko kaha gaya, aur Sabke jawab padhne ko kaha gaya…
Patiyo ke reply kuchh iss prakar the…
1) Mere Bachcho ki Amma, tum pagal ho gayi ho kya??
2) Ab kya kar diya? Car to nahin thoki na?
3) Kya hua?? kuchh samjha nahin!!
4) kya kiya tumne? iss baar tum nahin bachogi..!
5) Kya chahiye? Kitne paise chahiye?
6) Sapne mein to SMS nahin bheja na…
7) Yeh SMS galti se to mujhe nahin bheja na?
8) Tum keh rahi thi ki party me ja rahi ho… Jyaada pee to nahin li?
9) ????
10) Tum kaun??
๐
Biwiya apne apne patiyo se kis prakar ladti hain…
Pilot ki Patni:
Jyada Udo Mat, Samjhe!
Teacher ki Patni:
Mujhe mat sikhao, yeh aapka school nahin!!
Dentist ki Patni:
Daant tod ke hath me de dungi!
Doctor ki Patni:
Tabiyat sahi kar dungi!
MBA ki Patni:
Apne kaam se kaam rakho
Engineer ki Patni:
Jyada Current mat maaro!!
If you know others… add them to comments below
Husband Wife chori ke topic par baat kar rahe the
Husband: Jo shakhs chori karta hai Woh baad me zaroor pachtata hai.
Wife said romanticaly:
Aur tumne jo shaadi se pehle meri ninde churayi thi unke bare me kya khyaal hai ??
Husband: keh to raha hoon jo chori karta he wo baad mein pachhtata zaroor hai!!!
Ek jagah par gaadi ki neelami ho rahi thi
10 Lakh
15 Lakh!
20 Lakh!
Santa ne gaadi ki taraf dekha, aur socha yeh gaadi to itni tooti footi haalat mein hai… phir bhi!!
Usse raha nahin gaya, aur Banta ke paas jaker bola
Santa: Yeh puraani tooti footi car ki itni keemat kyun laga rahe hain yeh log, aisi kya khoobi hai iss car mein?
Banta: Arey Paaji, maine suna hai, jo bhi iss gaadi ko khareedta hai uski Biwi ka accident ho jata hai!!
Santa: 50 Lakh!!
Pati Patni raat me bistar par khamoshi se lete hue the
Aapas me koi baat cheet nahin…
Patni ke mann ki chintaein
1. Yeh mujhse baat kyun nahin kar rahe
2. Kya ab main pehle jaisi khoobsurat nahin rahi
3. Kahin mera wajan to nahin badh gaya
4. Kahin mere chehre ki jhurriyo pe inka dhyaan to nahin gaya
5. Kahin inke jeewan me mere alawa koi aur to nahin
6. Kahin yeh meri roz ki kich-kich se tang to nahin aa gaye…
Aur pati ke mann ki chinta…
1. Aaakhir Dhoni ne Ishant Sharma ko Over diya hi kyun!!
ENGINEER’s wife : How m i looking today?
Engineer: tan(c}/sin(c)
wife: huh ???
Engineer Explains:
tan c/sin c = (sin c/cos c)/sin C
=1/cos c
=sec c
= Sexy ๐
Naughty ENGINEER..!!