Santa Agra mein raheta tha…
Agra mein do not drink and drive koi follow nahi karta tha.
Ek bar Santa London Gaya wo gadi chala raha tha
Use pyaas lagi, aage ek police Wala mila
Santa (masoomiyat se): Sahab main rules tod raha hoon
Police: don’t break the rules
Santa: Sir pyaas lag rahi hai, pani pine dijiye.
ya to aap gadi chalao, Aur main pichhe baith kar pani pita hoon!!
Teacher: How many planets are there?
Santa: Mercury, Venus, Jupiter vagerah – vagerah
Teacher: Aur batao?
Santa:
Aur bas… Sab badhiya Ekdum!
Mata raani ki kripa….
Aap sunao…?
Santa: You know, Our new neighbor is an Aam Aadmi Party member.
Banta: Tujhe kaise pata?
Santa: Aaj savere, jab maine use hath hila kar hello kia tha usne mujhe Jhaadu dikhaya!!
Santa flight mein pilot ke cabin mein ghus jata hai,
aur uske headphone khinchne lagta hai..
Pilot: Mera headphone kyun khinch rahe ho?
Santa: array ticket ke paise to humne bhi diye hai, gaane tu akela sunega..
he he ha ha..
Jagjit Singh singing-
Yeh daulat bhi le lo,
Yeh shohrat bhi le lo..
Suddenly Santa stands up & says-
Main toh bahut pareshan hun,
meri toh aurat bhi le lo…. 😉
Dr: Kaise aana hua?
Santa: Doctor sahab, tabiyat theek nahi hain
Dr: Sharab peete ho?
Santa: Peeta to hoon, par chhota peg hi banana. I’m not feeling well!
Santa goes to a STD-PCO..
Santa to shopkeeper: O paaji ek phone karna hai..
Shopkeeper: haanji kijiye
Santa wahan lage notice par kuch padta hai aur shopkeeper to do thappad lagate hai..
Shopkeeper to santa: mujhe kyun mara?
Santa: oh ji yahan likha hai pehle 2 lagayen..
Santa goes to nirmal baba..
Nirmal baba: paaji kya naam hai aapka?
Santa: babaji mera naam Santa hai
Nirmal baba: pehle yeh batao khana khaya tha?
Santa: haanji ha khaya tha
Nirmal baba: kya khaya tha?
Santa: vo to yaad nahi..
Suddenly santa farts and rememebers.. mooli paranthe khaye the
Nirmal baba: jaagte hue khaye the ya sote hue khaye the?
Santa: jagte hue khaye the ji..
Nirmal baba: sote hue khaya karo.. kripa hoti rahegi..
Santa went to USA and had a meeting with OBAMA
OBAMA : I want to show you that how much advance we are!
Come with me, He takes him to a forest.
OBAMA : Dig the ground.
Santa did it.
OBAMA : More….More…More…
Santa went upto 100 Feet.
OBAMA : So now, try to search something.
Santa: I got a Wire.
OBAMA: You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Santa became frustrated.
He invited OBAMA to India.
Next year OBAMA was in India.
Santa: I want to show you our advancement.
The same… he takes OBAMA to a forest.
Santa: Mr Obama, Please Dig it…
Obama does.
Santa: More….More…More……
OBAMA goes upto almost 400 feet.
Santa: Try to find something.
OBAMA tries
Santa: Did you get anything?
OBAMA: No, there is nothing here.
Santa: You know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to have WIRELESS Mobiles !!!
Santa Rocks, Obama Shocks
Doctor: tabiyat kaisi hai?
Santa: pehle se jyada kharab hai
Doctor: dawai khali thi?
Santa: nahi ,nahi , dawai ki bottle bhari thi..
Doctor: oh ! mera matlab hai , dawai le li thi?
Santa: ji.. aapne di aur maine le li..
Doctor: array.. dawai peeli thi??
Santa: nahi, dawai to laal thi..
Doctor: Array.. moorakh.. dawai ko pee liya tha??
Santa: nahi doctor saab, peeliya (jaundice) to mujhe tha.
Doctor fainted… balle balle balle balllleeeeee!!!!
Phone rings: tring tring..
Santa: hello
Lady: Aaj se 4 din pehle maine aapko complaint likhwayi thi ki hamari doorbell kharab hai
Santa: haanji haanji, madam.. tell me
Lady: to tum theek karne kyun nahi aaye?
Santa: madam main to roz aata hun, aakar doorbell bajata hun, par koi darwaza hi nahi kholta… to main wapas aa jata hoon 🙂 😀