Santa: Aap mujhe sanskrit seekha do,
Pandit: kyun?
Santa: Devtaao ki bhasha hai, Swarg mein jaroorat padegi
Pandit: Agar nark gaye to?
Santa: Punjabi to aati hi hai…
๐ ๐
Top Funny Jokes for JOTD
Latest Funny Husband Wife Jokes
Prabhu
Yeh kya Moh-Maya hai?
Apna Baccha roye, toh dil me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ka roye, toh sir me!
Apni Biwi roye, toh sir me dard hota hai.
Aur doosre ki roye, toh dil me!
Sab prabhu ki maya hai
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A Man praying in Kumbh Mela…
Hey Prabhu, nyay karo…
Hey Prabhu, nyay karo…
Hamesha bhai-bhai bichhadte hai kumbh mein…
Kabhi pati-Patni per bhi try karo
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Wife : jaanu, kaash aap msg hote,
main aapko save karti, jab chahe padhti.
husband : kanjoos hee rahiyo,
Save hi karke rakhiyo, apni kisi saheli ko forward na kariyo ?
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Husband: Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.
Wife: Haan, kaash tum Ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza aata!!
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Agar aapki wife aapka kehna nahi manti hai to..
.
.
to..??
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.
.
.
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Itna dhyan se mat padho,
kisi ki nahi manti…!!
Iska koi solution nahi hai.
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Wife: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu.
Husband: Nahi.
Wife: Kyun?
Husband: Main “hanuman chalisa” padh kar sota hun!
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Unmarried boy: “Mujhe shaadi nahin karna. Mujhe sab aurato se darr lagta hai
Father: “Kar le beta, phir ek hi aurat se darr lagega baaki sab achchhi lagengi
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Assistant: “Sir, Aap Office Mein Shadi-Shuda Aadmiyon Ko Hi Kyu Rakhte Ho?”
Boss: “Kyunki Unhe Beizzati Sehne Ki Aadat Hoti Hai Aur Ghar Jane Ki Jaldi Bhi Nahi Hoti”
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Husband: tere baap ki jaley par namak chidakne ki adat gayi nahi?
Wife- kyo kya hua?
Husband- aaj fir se puch raha tha “Meri beti se shadi karke kush to ho na??
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Touching story…
A husband and wife went for a walk. While walking husband got hurt by a stone and started bleeding.
He looked at his wife, hoping she would tear her dupatta and tie it on the wound.
Wife looked in his eyes and said:
Sochna bhi mat…
Designer piece hai!!!
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Husband ko Market Jaate hue
Wife ne paise dekar kaha: Kuchh Aisi Cheez Laana jis se main SUNDAR Dikhu…
Husband khud k Liye Whisky ki 2 Bottle Le Aaya..!
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Man : Sir, my wife is missing.
Postman : Yeh post office hai, Police station nahi.
Man: Oh sorry . . . . . . . .
Sala khushi ke mare kaha jaau, samajh me nahi aa raha !!!
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4 Ladke Bike par Sawaar
4 ladko ko 1 bike par sawaari karte dekh Traffic police ne rok liya…
Police: Tripple sawaari jurm hai aur tum 4-4 baithe ho!!??
Yeh sunte hi chaaro peechhe dekhne lage,
Aur ek saath bole…
“Saalo, Paanchwa kaha gir gaya?? Jise party deni thi!” ๐
Funny Rohit Sharma Jokes
Recently, Rohit Sharma made 264 in an ODI, His 2nd Double Ton in ODIs. After that there are lots of jokes flowing around on whatsapp and twitter.
Here are few to make you laugh.
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Meanwhile, somewhere in space….
Jaadu from koi mil gaya is again confused …
whether he gave his power to rohit mehra or rohit sharma …??
And
Srilanka wale confuse hai ki Rohit Sharma ka score chase karna hai ya india ka!!
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Hanuman ji ke baad, Rohit Sharma aise dusre bhartiya hain,
Jinhone Lanka ka yeh haal kiya hai!!
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After watching yesterday’s match .
.
Anushka sharma (To virat kohli):
Bhai rohit ka number to forward kar . I don’t want to change my surname!!
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#RohitSharma is like Kumbhkaran;
wakes up once in ages and finishes everything in a go, only to sleep soundly again!
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Srilanka was confused whether to chase Rohit Sharma’s score or India’s total.
Wife ki problem par Husband ka awesome reply
Wife:
Agar meri shaadi kisi ‘Raakshas’ se bhi ho jaati
to bhi main itni pareshan nahin hoti,
jitni main tumhare saath hoon!
Husband:
Arrey pagli, Blood relation mein shaadiya kaha hoti hai?
๐ Wife trolled!
Hamari School Teacher
Kamal karti thi hamari school teacher…
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Madam hamein kabhi bhi murga bana deti thi
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Aur
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Exams mein ande khud de deti thi..!! ๐
Funny Hindi Slogans Behind Truck and Bus
Roadways Bus ke peechhe likha hua tha..
“Je waheguru da hukum hoyaa,
Taa manjil tak pahuncha devange!
Je Ankh lag gayi,
Te waheguru naal hi mila devange!!”
Ek aur…….
Ek truck ke peechhe likha tha ek behad Sunder sentence..
“Sawdhaani Hati…
Kheer Pudi Banti!!”
(Samajhne wale share karna na bhoolein)
Santa ki Nayi Nayi Shaadi
Santa ki nayi nayi Shaadi hui thi,
Phir bhi use shaam ko ghar jaane ki koi jaldi nahin rehti thi
Wo der tak office mein baitha rehta tha!
Ek din uske boss ne usse karan puchha..
to Santa ne jawab diya.
Baat yeh hai Sir, ki meri patni bhi naukri karti hai,
Aur hum dono mein se jo bhi ghar pehle pahunchta hai, Khana use hi banana padta hai!!! ๐ ๐
Pappu ki Girlfriend
Ishq ke school mein naya mahol taiyar ho gya.
Pappu ki girlfriend se Puri class ko payar ho gya…
wah wah…
Ishq ke school mein naya mahol taiyar ho gya.
Pappu ki girlfriend se Puri class ko payar ho gya…
Bus Tabhi se pappu udas ho gaya..
Puri class fail ho gayi, Pappu pass ho gaya!!
Husband ka Kamar dard aur Padausan
Husband:
Kamar Mein Bahut Dard Hai..
Baaju Ke Ghar Se IODEX Le Aao..
Wife: Wo Nahi Denge…
Husband: Kitne Kanjoos Hai Saaale,
.
Jaane Do,
Apni Hi Nikal Lo,
Almaari Mein Rakhi Hai.
Pappu ki ex-girlfriend
Pappu: Pichhle hafte meri aur meri Girlfriend ki ladai ho gayi, Aur phir hum alag ho gaye
Golu: phir?
Pappu: Usne mujhe chidhane ke liye apne naye Boyfriend ke sath photo khinchwa kar mujhe bhej di..
Golu: Ohh, Ye yeh to bahut bura kiya usne!!
Pappu: To main bhi kaunsa kam hoon, Uski wahi photo uske Baap ko bhej di… ๐ aur le maze mere ๐ ๐