Kanjoos baap ke bete ne kaha:
Papa meri GF pregnant ho gayi hai. 50,000 mang rhi hai, Chup rehne ke.
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se paise de diye.
2 mahine baad dusra beta bola: Meri GF pregnant hai 75,000 mang rhi hai
Kanjoos ne khamoshi se de diye.
6 mahine baad Kanjoos ki kuwari beti boli: Daddy, I am pregnant.!
Kanjoos ne usko gale se lagaya aur beti ka maatha chum ke kaha: Shabaash beti, ab paise lene ki baari hamari.. ๐
Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.
Next day zuban cut gayi..
Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. Tang karta hai… bahut marta hai.
Next day master ka hath toot jata hai…
Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko utha le… Bahut marte hai.
Next day baap ghar aate hain,
Bacha :- Papa apko kuch nahi hua ??
Baap :- Nahi kyon?
Bacha :- Maa kahan hain…??
Baap :- Pados me Sharma uncle ki Death ho gayi hai, wahan Gayi hai..
๐
Papa: Pappu Beta, teri Mummy aaj itni chup kaise baithi hain?
Pappu Bola:
Kuchh nahin papa
Mummy ne Lipstick maangi thi…
Maine…
Maine Fevistick de di ๐ ๐
Papa: Jug jug jiyo mere laal.. Bhagwan aisa beta sabko de ๐
Son came late…
Mom: beta kaha gaya tha..??
.
Beta: – Mom movie dekhne gaya tha.
.
.
Mom: Beta Kaunsi..?
.
.
.
Beta: ‘MAA KI MAMTA’
.
Mom: Ja beta upar ja nayi film lagi hai.
.
Beta: Maa , kaunsi..?
.
Maa: ‘BAAP KA KEHAR ๐
Doctor MUMMY
“ek thapad padhega to theek ho jaoge”
Aalsi MUMMY
“ek baat tumhe kitni bar batani padhti hai”
DHAMKANE WALI MUMMY
“Aane do papa ko, tmhari shikayat karungi”
Purani MUMMY
“Jb main tumhari umar ki thi to ghar ki sari zimmedari sambhalti thi”
Future WALI MUMMY
“Mujhe pata tha, yeh tutega”
CONFUSED MUMMY
“main insan hun ki machine!?”
SELFISH MUMMY
“lunch me parathe tumare liye diye the ya tumare dosto ke liye?”
SHAKKI MUMMY
“10 me se 10 marks.. zarur tune cheating ki hogi”
Aaj kal ki Mummy :
“Aag lage tere mobile ko,
din raat isi me ghusa rehta hai”
Par inn sab ke baad bhi
BEST hai hum sabki MUMMY!! ๐
A person on his death bed (in Mumbai at Hospital) with Wife, Kids and Nurse beside him.
Man to Eldest son : You take the 15 Bungalows at Borivali.
To daughter : You take the 8 bungalows at Juhu.
To youngest son : You are my youngest and most dearest and I want your future to be bright, so you keep the 20 offices at Nariman Point.
To wife : Dear Kavita, you keep all 11 of our Lokhandwala building flats.
Nurse (quite impressed, says to wife) – Wow …
You are lucky to have such a husband who is so rich and giving you all the properties etc.
Wife: What properties, what rich … he’s distributing out responsibilitie s of delivring Milk to his clients in the morning!! ๐ ๐
Son: Daddy ‘POLITICS’ Kya hai.. ??
Dad: Teri MAA Ghar Chalati Hai.. Use “SARKAR” Manlo,
Main Kamata Hoon Mujhe “KARMCHARI” Manlo..
Kamwali Kaam Karti Hai Use “MAZDUR” Manlo
Tum Desh Ki Janta..
Chhote Bhai Ko Desh Ka “BHAVISHYA” Manlo..
Son: Ab mujhe politics samajh me aa gayi daddy…
Kal Raat Maine Dekha Ki KARMCHARI MAZDUR Ke
Saath Kitchen Mein gale mil Raha Tha..
SARKAR So Rahi Thi,
JANTA KI KISI Ko Fikar Nahin Thi or DESH KA BHAVISHYA RO RAHA THA.. ๐
The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.
Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use home phone, I use my work phone.
Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone
Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.
All of them shocked and together look at the maid who’s patiently listening to them.
Maid: “What? So we all use our work phones. What’s the Big deal?? =))