After massive demands from all husbands……….
A new app called
“Darr”
is launched for iPhone and Android
You just say..
‘Wife’..
and it closes all websites,
hides all chats,
Shuts down all games,
hide all special folders
and best of all..
puts your wife’s photograph as a wallpaper.
Indian wife sanskaro wali hoti hai
Wo kabhi sabke samne apne pati ko
“Abe Gadhe” aur
“Oye Gadhe” ya
“Sun Gadhe”
nahi bolti
Isliye wo short me
“A.G. / O.G./ Suno G” Kehti hain..
Pati kamre mein baitha sharaab pee raha tha.
Yeh dekhkar patni gusse se tam-tamaa kar boli:
Aapne to kaha tha ki bina kisi Reason sharaab ko hath bhi nahin lagaoge, phir yeh sab kya hai??
Pati:
Reason hai pagli… Reason hai!
.
.
Ab dekho, Diwali aa rahi hai, Rocket chalaane ke liye khaali botal chahiye ki nahin?? π π
———–
HAPPY DIWALI 2014!
“Apni khud ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra badha sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare
“Apni biwi ki galatiyo par hansna aapki umra Ghata bhi sakta hai!”
– Shakespeare ki Biwi
Wahh Prabhu.. kya leela hai teri!!
Cockroach chuhe se darta hai…
Chuha billi se…
Billi kutte se…
Kutta aadmi se…
Aadmi biwi se…
aur biwi?
Biwi darti hai cockroach se!!! π π
Wife — Pooja kiya karo, Balaayein tal jayegi
Husband —
Tere baap ne bahut ki hogi,
Uski tal gayi, mere palle pad gayi!!
Husband and wife had an heated argument on karva chauth day.
Husband came up with killer reply –
“Dimaag khane se bhi vrat tut jata hai !!!!!
—– Wife becharrrii chup!! ——–
Karwachauth par patiyo ke liye khaas hidayatein!
1.
Jab patni ka Upwaas ho, use vishwas dilaein, ki aap uske sath hain.
Aur aap bhi bhookhe rehne ka naatak karein, chahiye bhale hi hotel mein nashta kar aaein!.
2.
Ghar mein kuchh khaein peeye na, taaki patni ko bhi iss baat ka poora yakeen ho
ki waqai aap uske saath hain..
3.
Iss din shaving na banaein, taaki aapke chehre par upwaas ki feeling jhalke,
aur heavy nashte ki dakaar par control karein, nahin to pol khul jayegi!
4.
Jab patni bhookhi ho to aap hanse na,
Hansi aa rahi ho to kisi gupt sthaan par jaakar hans aayein
aur patni ke saamne gambheer ho jaayein!
5.
Sambhav ho to iss din office se chhutti lekar patni ke saath ghar par kirtan karein!
6.
Mobile mein jyada ungli na karein
WhatsApp aur facebook ka bhi iss din tyaag kar dein…
7.
Ghar mein falahaari pakwaan laakar rakhein,
taaki biwi ko ehsaas hota rahe ki aapko uske vrat kholne ki chinta hai!
8.
Aawaz par sayyam rakhein, bachcho se dheeme aur karaahte hue bolein,
taaki bhookhi patni ko lage ki aap waqai bhookhe hain.
Iss din chatakh rango ke kapde na pehne, aur saada pehnawa rakhein.
9.
Saawdhaan, iss din patni aapse zidd karegi ki aap bhookhe na rahein
Kuchh kha lein, lekin aap uske jhanse mein mat aana,
darasal wo aapka imtehaan le rahi hoti hain.
10.
Iss din TV par koi comedy show bhi na dekhein, use dekhkar aap hanse to phir samjho fanse!
Bas patni ke karwa chauth ki iss upwaas ke din,
inn tips ko apna daala
to life hogi jhingalala!
Chitragupt bahut badi duvidha mein the…
Wo Brahma ji ke paas gaye aur bole.. ki
Its difficult to fulfill Indian wives’ wishes
They keep Karva Chauth
and they want the same husband for the next 7 janams.
Brahma asked : why?
Chitragupt bole:
Prabhu, badi duvidha hai,
The ladies want the same husband
and
The husbands want a new wife.
Its A Problem To convince both…….
Brahma: But this canβt be stopped. yeh to puratan kal se chala aa raha hai…
Just then Narad Muni appears and says: On earth there is a great person called Santa Singh. Ask him for a Solution.
Chitragupta meets Santa Singh..
In one minute Santa Singh solves the Problem :
He Advised Chitragupta:
βAny lady who wants the same husband will also get the same MOTHER IN LAW…… ” π
Happy Karwachauth 2014
Ek Aurat apni jeebh par Kumkum Chawal laga rahi thi..
Pati: Yeh kya kar rahi ho?
Patni: Aaj Dashahra Hai, Sashstra Poojan Kar rahi hoon!!
π π
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’
‘Where are you going, coochy cooh?’ asked the wife.
‘I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.’
The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds o f beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, lolly pop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…’
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
‘You want a frozen glass, puppy face?’
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?’
You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?’ She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
‘But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…’
‘You want dirty words, Di**head? Drink your f****g beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your m****f*****g snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t f**ing going anywhere! Got it, A***ole?’
and, they lived happily ever after.