Why do married couples fight?

WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’
I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started….
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.’
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started….
***************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a petrol pump
And then the fight started….
***************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, ‘Do you know him?’
‘Yes,’ she sighed, ‘He’s my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.’
‘My Word!’ I said to my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’
And then the fight started….
***************************

My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,’I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.’
I replied, ‘Your eyesight’s perfect.’
And then the fight started….
***************************

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
“Somewhere I’ve not been in a long time.”
So I took her to the kitchen.
And then the fight started….
***************************

Dedicated to all married couples..
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Husband Wife Jokes | English, JOTD, Marriage | Joker

An irony of life – Shaadi!

An irony of life:

Shaadi ke liye aaye GANJE ladko ki photo reject karne wali 90% ladkiyo ko shaadi ke 10 saal baad Ganje pati ke sath hi rehna padta hai..

Aur

Shaadi ke liye Dekhi MOTI ladkiyo ko reject karne wale 90% ladko ko 2-3 saal mein Moti biwi ke sath hi rehna padta hai!

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | Hindi, JOTD, Marriage | Joker

Raat ko Hui Pati Patni ke beech Gambhir Baat

Shrimati ji ki raat ko 2 baje achanak neend khuli to paya ki pati bistar se nadarad hai.

Jaanne ke liye uthi, khoja..
to dekha dining table par baithe pati ji Coffee ka cup hath mein lekar vicharmagn, deewar ko ghoor rahe hain!

Patni chupchap pati ko coffee ki chuski lete hue beech beech mein aankh se aansu poonchhte dekhti rahi.

Phir pati ke paas gayi aur boli,
“Kya baat hai, Dear? Tum itni raat gaye yaha kya kar rahe ho…?”

Pati Ji ne coffe se nazar uthayi..
“Tumhe yaad hai, 14 saal pehle jab tum sirf 18 saal ki thi?” – Pati badi gambheerta se bola…
Continue reading

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | Hindi, JOTD | Joker

Pati, Patni aur Jhagda

Pati: Priye, Kya tum mere sath Yoga Class chalna pasand karogi?
Patni: Tum kehna kya chahte ho, main kya moti ho gayi hoon?

Pati: Koi baat nahin, Ichcha nahi hai to mat chalo.
Patni: Matlab main aalsi hoon?

Pati: Arey tum gussa kyun kar rahi ho?
Patni: Matlab main hamesha jhagadti hoon!

Pati: arey maine aisa kab bola?
Patni: Matlab ki main jhoothi hoon!

Pati: achcha baba, Main nahin jaata hoon!
Patni: Main sab samajthi hoon, Darasal, tum le jana hi nahin chahte the…

Pati ne chup rehne mein bhalaayi samjhi aur phir so gaya!

Husband Wife Jokes | Hindi | Joker

Swami’s Husband Wife jokes

Swami says:

If wife wants husband’s attention, She just has to look sad & uncomfortable.
If husband wants wife’s attention, He just has to look comfortable & happy.

————-

Swami says :

Every WIFE is a Mistress of her Husband..
Miss for first year & Stress for rest of years.

————-

Swami says:

Generally a man does not go to the place again where he has been cheated once?
But many people still go to their in laws house again & again.
Continue reading

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, JOTD | Joker

Aurato ki Dileri ka Andaza

Waise, Aurat ki dileri ka andaza aadmi ko shaadi ke usi waqt laga lena chahiye,

Jab banda use lene 100 aadmiyo ki baraat lekar jaata hai
aur wo ‘sherni’ udhar se akeli chali aati hai!

Husband Wife Jokes | Hindi, JOTD | Joker

Kapil – Sumona from Comedy Nights Joke

comedy nights husband wife kapil joke

Kapil: Agar Bhagwan tumhari ek ichchha poori kare, to woh kya hogi?

Sumona: Ki aap aur main 7 janam saath rahein.. 🙂 aur aap kya mangoge?

Kapil: Yeh mera satwa janam ho!!

Comedy Nights Jokes, Husband Wife Jokes | Hindi | Joker

Wife ki emergency aur Ambulance

Wife ambulance ko 108 per call karti hai.

Operator: Aapko kya samasya hai?
Wife: Mere pair ki ungli coffee table se takra gayi hai.

Operator: haste hue aur iske liye aap ambulance bulana chahati hain.
Wife: Nahi, ambulance to mere pati ke liye hai, use hasna nahi chahiye tha naa..

Husband Wife Jokes | Hindi | Joker

Wife’s SMS for Hubby

Wife sent text to hubby

“Hi I will get late, please cook dinner, then wash all dirty dishes and make sure you prepare our bed and put kids to sleep before I return.?”

She sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you.. I have bought a bottLe of Scotch for you!”

He texted “OMG! really?”

She replied – “No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message”

—– Husband Trolled —–

Husband Wife Jokes | English, JOTD | Joker

Biwi ko samajhna aasaan nahin

Biwi ko samjhna matlab:

32 GB ka koi ek Video
2G network par download karna..

aur 31.95 GB download
hone ke baad….

Aakhir mein error dikhnaa!!!

means…. Impossible!!!

Husband Wife Jokes | Hindi | Joker

Husband, Wife and A Phone Call

Phone rings at night…

Husband: If its for me, then say I am not at home!

Wife (on phone): He is at home…

Husband (in anger): What the HELL??

Wife: SHUT UP, It was for ME!! 😀

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, Naughty | Joker

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