Fact of life:
Pati chahe kitna hi kharch kar de…
Shopping ke baad,
Biwi ‘Thank You’ dukaandar ko hi bolegi!! ๐
Latest Husband Wife Jokes Jokes
Meri shirt press kar do
Husband: Meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
Wife: Ok.
After 10 minutes
Husband: Meri shirt press ki?
Wife: Nahi…
Husband: Kyun?
Wife: Ulti nahin aa rahi hai!
Biwiyo ka Mindset
Biviyaa bhi ajeeb mindset rehti hain
Devdas ka Shahrukh inhe “Romantic” lagta hai…
Aur
Pati sharaab piye to “Bewda” lagta hai!!
Patiyo ke liye aaj ka gyaan
Aaj ka Gyaan..
Patni paper-weight ki tarah hoti hai..
Pati ko fad-fadaane to deti hai,
Par
Udne nahin deti!!
Dimaag ki Pareeksha
Shaadishuda purusho ke liye…
Q: Maine shaadi kyun ki?
Ans: Dimaag kharab ho gaya tha
Shaadi-Shuda Mahilao ke liye…
Q: Main Patni kyun bani?
Ans: Kisi ka dimaag thikaane lagana tha!! ๐
Dentist se daant nikalwana hai
Ek saji-dhaji mahila apne pati ke sath ek doctor ke clinic gayi.
Mahila:
Ek daant nikalwana hai…
Par sirf 10 minute mein..
Koi anesthesia, behoshi, ya pain killer ki jaroorat nahin!
Thoda bahut dard hota hai, hone do…!
Par jaldi… Mujhe ek kitty party mein jana hai!!
Doctor: Kamaal hai, Gajab ki bahadur mahila hain aap.. ! Aaiye examine chair par let jayiye! Dikhayiye kaun sa daant hai!
Mahila (Apne Pati se): Jaao, let jaao… aur bata do kaun sa daant hai!! ๐
Biwi ne Dua kyun nahin mangi?
Biwi ne namaaz padhkar dua ke liye haath uthaye, par kuchh nahin manga aur haath neeche kar liye!
Shauhar yeh sab dekh raha tha, to puchh baitha..
“Yeh kya? Dua kyun nahin maangi?”
Biwi: Maangne hi lagi thi ki “Allah aapki tamaam mushkile khatam kar de”
Phir socha, Kahin main hi na mar jaaun!
Hindi Mother tongue hai, father tongue kyun nahi ?
Hindi hamari matribhasha hai, pitrabhasha kyun nahi?
Kyunki,
Mataji ne Pitaji ko kabhi bolne hi nahin diya…! ๐
Are you an alcoholic?
I found a Leaflet in my newspaper this morning which read,
“ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC? CALL NOW. WE CAN HELP!”
My wife insisted I make the call..
I Called up.
It Was A Liquor Shop Offer : “Buy 3 & Get 1 Free”…
My eyes were filled with tears of joy.!!
Atal Bihari Vajpayee ji ko Bharat Ratna milne ka karan
Subah subah patni chai nashta puchhne aayi, to maine kaha bana do!
Phir ruk kar puchhne lagi, “Ji yeh atal bihari vajpayee ji ko Bharat Ratna mil raha hai, Aisa kaun sa kaam kiya tha unhone?”
Maine kaha: Shaadi nahin ki thi isliye!
Bas uske baad na chai aayi na nashta ๐
Teri Bhabhi se hui “Kahasuni”
Shaadishuda mard udaas hota hai,
To yaar dost puchhte hi hain, kya hua?
Jawab hota hai..
Yaar kuchh nahin, teri bhabhi se “Kahasuni” ho gayi..
Jabki “Kaha” kuchh nahi hota,
Sirf “Suni” hoti hai… ๐