Biwi Ho To Aisi

Wife: Itna late kaise ho gaye? Kya apni Office waali ke sath Movie dekhne gaye the?

Husband: Kabhi to Shaq mat kiya kar, Shaadi ki pehli raat se hi Shakki nigaho se dekhti hai

Wife: To phir 7 baje ghar aane ka time hone ke baad bhi raat 10 baje aa rahe ho…

Husband: Wo kya hua na ki Ek aadmi ka 1000 rupaye ka note gum ho gaya tha…

Wife: Achcha… to kya tum use dhundne mein madad kar rahe the?

Husband: Nahin… Main uss Note par khada tha…

Wife: Laao jaldi idhar do wo Note

Husband: Yeh lo 100/-

Wife: Baaki ke 900 Rupaiye kaha gaye?

Husband: Wo kya hai ki Jis ladki ne mujhe note uthate hue dekh liya tha, Use film dikhani padi aur Phir saste hotel mein khana khilaya.. Aur apne scooter se Ghar chhodkar aaya…!
Tab jaakar tumhare liye yeh 100/- bacha paya… Taaki tumhari Paani-Puri ka intezaam ho sake, Tumhe bahut pasand hai na.

Wife: Aap mera kitna khayal rakhte hain na, aur Main bewajah hi Aap par shaq kar rahi thi.

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Theories on Arguing with a Girl

There are two theories on arguing with a girl (Wife)!

If the girl is right,
Be fair to her & keep quiet.

If the girl is wrong,
Be fair to yourself & keep quiet.

Funny Quotes, Husband Wife Jokes, Jokes | Girls, Hindi, Jokes | Joker

Married Life is So Easy

Married life is so easy,

Its just like a walk in the park.!

BUT the problem is That the park is…

.

.

Jurassic Park… Lo karlo walk!! 😀

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Caller of the Year – Low Battery

A Young man saved his girlfriend’s phone number on his mobile as “LOW BATTERY”..

Whenever she calls him in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it to the charger..

The guy was later nominated for Nobel prize for Innovation and Peace...

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Shaadi Ke Baad Pati-Patni Aise Badalte Hain

Shaadi Ke Baad Pati-Patni kaise badalte hain dekhiye…

husband-wife-pati-patni-changes-after-marriage

Shaadi Ke baad Patni Kaise badalti hai… Zara Gaur Kijiye

Pehle Saal: Maine kaha ji, Khana kha lijiye, Aapne kaafi der se kuchh khaya nahin!

Dusre Saal: Ji Khana taiyaar hai, Laga dun?

Teesre Saal: Khana ban chuka hai, Jab khana ho tab bata dena…!

Chauthe Saal: Khana banakar rakh diya hai, Main bazaar ja rahi hoon, Khud hi nikal kar kha lena. 

Paanchve Saal: Main kehti hoon, Aaj mujhse khana nahin banega, Hotel se le aao.

Chhathe Saal: Jab dekho Khana khana aur khaana, Abhi subah hi to khaya tha.

Shaadi ke baad Pati kaise badalte hain.. Zara gaur kijiye.

Pehle Saal: Jaanu, Sambhalkar.. Udhr Gadda hai…

Dusre Saal: Arey yaar dekh ke, Udhar Gadda hai..

Teesre Saal: Dikhta nahin udhar gadda hai..

Chauthe Saal: Andhi hai kya, Gadda nahin dikhta??

Paanchve Saal: Arey udhar kidhar marne jaa rahi hai, Gadda to idhar hai…

😀 😛

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What is Marriage – Amazing Answer

Daughter: Mom, what is marriage?

Mom: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore!

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Girlfriend’s Problems with Boyfriend after Marriage

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy..

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0,MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5..3 to fix these problems but it just doesn’t seem to work.
What can I do?

Signed,

———— Reply From IT Support ———

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system ­ ­.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulove­dme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5..
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Beer 6.1..
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to re install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
To summarize – Husband 1.0 is a great program You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.

Good Luck Madam!
IT SUPPORT DESK.

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What is Vicious Circle? – Funny

funny-joke-vicious-cycleThe boss calls his secretary & says:
“Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip.”

The secretary calls husband & says:
“Me & my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself”

The husband calls his girlfriend & says:
“My wife is going on a business trip come home we can have fun”

The girlfriend calls the boy to whom she gives tuition: “No tuition this weekend.”

The boy calls his grand father:
“Grandpa at last we can spend this weekend together.”

Grandpa (The boss) calls his secretary & says: “Business trip is cancelled. I’m going to spend weekend with my grandson”

The secretary calls husband:
“I won’t be going”

The husband calls his girlfriend:
“I am sorry My wife is not going ”

The girlfriend calls boy:
“You have tuition”

Boy calls his grandpa & says:
“Sorry grandpa I’ve classes”

The grandpa calls secretary ….

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Mere Marne ke baad TajMahal Banwaoge?

husband-wife-funny-jokesWife: Kitna pyaar karte ho mujhse?

Husband: Shahjaha ne Mumtaj ko kiya tha usse bhi jyaada!!

Wife: Mere marne ke baad TajMahal banwaoge??

Husband: Pagli, Maine to Plot bhi khareed liya, Der to tu kar rahi hai 😀 😛

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Nalayak Pati – Hoshiyar Patni

Patni pati se : Tum khud to kuch karte nani, mujhe zehar la ke de do!!

Pati: nahin, main tumhe zehar nahi la sakta…

Patni: Hadd hai,  tum to aisa hi sochoge… main apne liye nahi, Chuhon ke liye manga rahi hoon.

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Criteria for Life Partner

A Man’s criteria for life partner

They expect their women to Look like ‘Miss Universe’ and Work like ‘Shanta Bai’

And

A Female’s criteria for life partner….

They expect their man to earn like ‘Ambani’ & behave like ‘Manmohan Singh’

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