Funny Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi and English | Page 16 of 22

31 Jan 2014

Patni ki Roj ki Jhik-Jhik

Patni ki roj ki jhik-jhik se pareshan Pappu apna samaan bandhate hue bola:
Ab to main tere saath ek pal bhi nahin rahunga…

Pappu Railway station gaya, Pappu train mein chadhne laga tabhi akashwani hui…
“Isme mat chadh, yeh train patari se utar jayegi”

Pappu Airport gaya… Wo plane mein chadhne laga ki aawaz aayi
“Isme mat chadh yeh Crash ho jayega”

Pappu ne Bus mein jaane ki sochi, to phir aawaz aayi
“Isme mat chadh, yeh khaayi mein gir jaayegi”

Pappu gusse se bola: Kaun hai yaar?

Aawaz aayi: Main Bhagwan hoon!

Pappu rote hue bola: Prabu aapko meri itni hi chinta thi, to jab main Ghodi par chadh raha tha, tab kya aapka gala baith gaya tha??

29 Jan 2014

Bigg Boss Chahte Hain

biggboss-comedy-nights-kapil

Shaadi Sudha insaan ke liye “Aji Sunte ho” sounds like “Bigg Boss Chahte Hain…”

28 Jan 2014

Biwi Naam Ka Ajeeb Praani

Dosto, Aaj hum ek ajeeb praani ke baare mein padhenge
Iss Jeev ka naam hai…

“BIWI”

– Yeh aksar Rasoi aur TV ke Saamne Paayi jaati hai

– Inka Paustik Aahaar hai, Pati Ka Bheja

– Yeh Paani kam, Khoon jyada peeti hai

– Inhe Aksar Naaraz hone ka naatak karte hue dekha ja sakta hai

– Iss Praani ka Sabse khatarnak Hathiyaar hain Inke Aansu (Rona) aur Emotionally Blackmail karna

– Iss jeev ke sampark mein rehne se, Tension naam ki beemari ho sakti hai, Jiska koi ilaaj nahin!

Bas inse saawdhaan rehna
— Bharat Sarkar Dwara Janhit Mein Jaari

27 Jan 2014

Wife: Kitchen se Namak lete aana

hindi-chutkule-091

Wife: Zara Kitchen se Namak lete aana….!

Husband: Yahaan toh koi Namak nahi hai..!

Wife: Mujhe pata tha..!
Tum toh ho hi Andhe..!
Kaamchor ho..!
ek kam dhang se nahi ker sakte..!
Bas bahaane banaate ho..!
jindagi mey kuch to kam karo…!

Tumhe nahin milega, Isliye pehle hi le aayi thi..!

‘Husband Shoked!’

😉 😀

26 Jan 2014

Naukrani: Madam Saree Wapas Le Lo

Naukrani: Madam ji, aap ki di hui saree wapas le lo

Malkin: kyu, kya kharabi hai saree me ?

Naukrani: Jab se me aap ki di hui saree pehan kar kam pe aane lagi hoon, tab se sahab meri taraf dekhte bhi nahin hain!

24 Jan 2014

Aarti: Jai Jai Gharwali

Check out this video for Husband’s Aarti for Wife

23 Jan 2014

Wife aur Husband ka Jhagda ho Gaya

Wife ne apni Maa ko phone kiya:

Mammy mera unse jhagda ho gya hai,
main 3-4 mahino ke liye ghar aa rahi hoon….

Maa ne aisa jawab diya, ki chaunk jaoge..!!

Wife ki Maa boli:

Jhagda us kambakhat ne kiya he toh saza bhi use hi milni chahiye,
Tu wahin ruk main 5-6 mahine ke liye aa rahi hoon.. 😀

23 Jan 2014

Itni Dhimi Aawaz Me Kisse Baat Kar Rahe Ho?

Wife: Phone pe itni dheemi awaaz mein kis se baat kar rahe ho?

Husband: Bahen hai..!

Wife: To fir itni dhimi aawaz me kis liye?

Husband: Teri hai… isiliye. 😀 😛

18 Jan 2014

Jab Tum Desi Sharab peete Ho

Wife:
Jab Tum Desi Sharab peete Ho To Mujhe Paaro Kehte ho
Beer Peete ho To Darling…
Par Aaj Bhootni kyun kaha…?

Husband:
Aaj maine SPRITE Pee hai
“Seedhi Baat No Bakwas”

Husband Rocked, Wife Shocked! 😀

18 Jan 2014

Poor Husbands – Dont Ask for Opinion

Wife: Should i cut my hair short
Husband: Sure, if you want to..

Wife: I am asking, if YOU think i should
Husband: I don’t know, I think, if you want to cut it, you should cut it.

Wife: But i want to know what YOU think?
Husband: Okay then, i think you should cut it

Wife: Are you just saying that so i leave you alone?
Husband: No

Wife: Are you just saying THAT so i leave you alone?
Husband: No

Wife: So you really think it would look good short
Husband: Yes, Cut you hair

Wife: But i like it better Long
Husband: Then don’t cut it

Wife: But you just said cut it
Husband: I… I don’t want to have opinions anymore!!

Poor Husbands

17 Jan 2014

Chudail aur 2 Wishes

EK shaitaani Chudail ne 60 saal ke husband & wife se kaha..

Main tum dono ki ek ek wish puri kar sakti hun..
Wife :- Main apne pati ke saath saari duniya ghoomna chaahti hun..

Chudail ne chutki bajayi aur 2 tickets aa gaye..

Fir husband se poochha..
Tum bolo kya chaahte ho??

Husband :- Mujhe apne se 30 saal chhoti
wife chaahiye..

Chudail ne chutki bajayi aur husband ko 90 saal ka kar dia!!

Moral :- Aadmi ko yaad rakhna chaahiye ke Chudail bhi aurat hi hoti hai.

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