Ek baar Himesh Reshammiya aur Ravan aamne saamne aa gaye.
Himesh: Aap to Ramayan ke Ravan ho!
Ravan: Kaun ho tum?
Himesh: Main ek singer hoon. (gana gakar sunata hai…oooo huzoorrr…tera tera tera sarrrooooor)
Ravan (khush hokar): Tum pehle kyon nahin mile? Mujhe tumhare jaise aadmi ki hi jaroorat hai.
Himesh: To iska matlab mera gaana aapko pasand aaya?!
Ravan: Nahin. Mera jo bhai hai Kumbhakarna, 6 mahine hue abhi tak soya hai. Use nind se jagana hai!!! Ab chalta hai ya uthake leke jau?!
Voting has started for Lok sabha elections 2014.
Soch Samajh Kar Vote Do, Aur do Zaroor!
BJP’s tagline for this Loksabha election campaign is “Ab ki Baar, Modi Sarkar”.
And soon enough, there are jokes floating on internet on this tagline.
Just chose any line ending with “AAR”… and add the line “Ab ki baar, Modi Sarkar” to it.
Here are few best we have for you.
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When Sunny Leone came to Comedy Nights with Kapil.
A guy from the audience says:
Ji main aapka bahut bada fan hun.
Maine aapki Saari hollywood and bollywood movies dekhi hain.
Aapke saath aapki movie ka ek step karna chahta hoon!!
Yeh baat sunkar siddhu says:
Guru,
Har Peela fruit aam nhi hota,
Glass me mut ke piyo to vo jam nhi hota,
Har sita ka pati ram nhi hota,
Thodi jeb dhili karo or uthao hotel ka kharcha,
Kyunki ye vo step hai jo khulle aam nhi hota!
thoko Share…!!!
Solve this question, and help Alok Nath in climbing the Mountain Kailash! 😀
Ek Bar Kejriwal, Modi, Sonia aur Kareena Train se ja rahe the.
Tabhi ek Goofa Aayi aur Kissing aur thappad Ki aawaz aayi.
Jab train bahar aayi to Kejriwal ka Gaal Laal tha,
Sab ke Sab Chup..
Sonia soch rahi thi Ke AAM ADMI paagal hote hai, Kejriwal Ne Kareena ko Kiss Kiya Hoga, aur thapad khaya Hoga.
Kareena soch rahi thi Ke Kejriwal ne Mujhe Kiss Karne ke Liye galti se Sonia Ko Kiss kar diya hoga aur thappad Khaya.
Kejriwal soch raha tha Ke Modi ne Kareena ko kiss kiya Lekin, Kareena ne Mujhe Samajh kar mujhe thappad Mara..
Modi soch raha tha ek bar fir gufa aaye aur Main fir se kiss ki awaj Nikal kar fir se kejriwal ko thappad Maaru… “Abhi sale ne INDIA ki politics dekhi kaha Hai…. ” 😀
Alok Nath Version of Blue Eyes
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.
Mera aashirwad liya kar jab m
kanyadan krta hu ,
Me wo babuji jo sirf rota rehta hu,
Shadi m aaya hu ,tera kanyadan karlu,
Dek lunga tere saas aur sasur nu..
Leke chalu mandir ,nariyal todke,
sidhe aashirwad du ,na du tolmol k
tonight m gonna hold agarbati light
kar diya tera kanyadan phne krke
garhpe bol de
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy Jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Satsang pe chalna hai ya pehle jayegi
Mandir,
Nahi mera matlab, Satsang ke Mandir,
Tab Lunga Prasad, nahi to Agarbati,
Mandir mien hogi Ghanti, beti Satsang
me asaram ke Geet
You Decide
Ke kya karna hai,
Tera to aaj hi kanyadaan karna hai
Gangajal gira diya hai tune meri pant
pe,
Kehti hai Dhoti phenlo Guru Dwara leke
rent pay.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Suna tere mann mandir mein mere
Kirtan bajte hai,
Samdhan banane ka tere koi plan hai,
Shadi kradu, Fere Lagvadu,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Teri Saas bhi beti Alok ki Samdhan hai,
Ah, Kehndi Shri Shri Alok Nath.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu,
Glossy jumke, uff yeah Bindiya,
Beti lagdi e Dulhan,
hari om hari om
Heart Attack kare teri vidhai ka dar.
Laal Saari, hypnotise teri kardi a
mennu,
I swear! Puri dress mein Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi
mennu, Sanskari lagdi mennu.
Alok Nath Version of Jab Tak Hai Jaan
Meri Samdhan Ji Ke Sath Namkeen Mastiyan
Meri Aashirwad Ki Beparwaah Gustakhiyaan
Mere Hatho Se Huye Kaanyadan
Nahi BHoolunga Mai
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,
Mere Banaye Rishte Ka Majak Udana
Tera Yun Meri Baar Baar Pagadi Uchalna
Mere Upar Gaane Banana
Nahi Maaf Karunga Mai
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,
Mandiron Me Mera Bedhadak Aarti Gaane Se
Baat Baat Pe Bevajah Aashirwad Dene Se
Dhoop aur Agarbatti Jalane Se
Mohabbat Karunga Mai,
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,
Mere Trolls Banane Walon Se,
Mera Yun Majak Banane Se,
Mere Beraham Trends Se,
Nafrat Karunga Mai,
Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar,Jab Tak Hai Sanskaar
This Song (on Alok Nath Sanskaars) Lyrics are based on Lungi Dance (Thalaiwaa) song from the movie Chennai Express.
Sanskaro ko dimag me bithake
alok nath ke jaisa tilak lagake
prasad me nariyal milake
Aa jaao sare mood banake
satsang me jab ye gana bajega
sanskaro me aana padega
ghantii ko bajana padega
charansparsh krke dikhana padega
ladki walo ki taraf se aaya me too
mujhko rokega kon oor kaiko
sari betiyon ka kanyadan karunga
kisi ke daddy se nai darunga
Jisko jo bi hai wo karna wo kar lo
Idhar hi hoon mai khada pakad lo
Ghar pe jaake tum Google kar lo
Mere sanskaro ko Wikipedia pe padh lo
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night.. [x2]
Jisne Bhi aarti hai karni
aajao mandir ke bheetar
Nariyal fool lekar
khane ko laga hai langar…
Sadda gudgaon delhi ki betiyaan aayi hai
sath me bhole ki CDiyaan bhi laayi hai
Pujari Prasad ke khud jimedaar hai
karlo aarti saari raat Kal itwar hai..
Ghanti Bajegi Loud
To beti Police bula legi
Us beti se jaake kehdo Ye aarti Yun hi chalegi
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
Khulla mandir Guru Dwara
har beti bole ghar nahi jana
Babuji ko tu karde msg
aaja beti karke bahana
Aarti Hori bahot bhayankar
Aarti ke gajab najare
Jee karta hai bas ek baar hi
Kardu mai Kanyadan tumhare..
Ek kunwari beti ne yun ghnati baja rahi hai
ek hath se baj nahi rahi,do do baja rahi hai
Naache dekho kaisi…Mehfil macha rakhi hai
Itti si tu hai nahi..hein?
Sanskaar bhula rahi hai…
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
Aarti all night..
We Do Aarti all night..
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Sunlo saari duniya walo
jitna bhi tum jor lagalo
karenge aarti saari raat
hath me dum hai to ghanti bajalo..
Aaj mandira khullan do
Kanyadaan Hullan do
nariyal ko fod faad ke
dukh ashanti bhullan do…
Bajate Raho..Ghantiiiii
Bajate Raho…Ghantiiii
bajate raho….ghnatiii
bajate rahooo
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
beti Police bula legi
Fir bhi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
aarti Yun hi chalegi
Bahu: Babuji, I am going to Supermarket
Aloknath: Bahu, Take my Sanskaar!
Bahu: Ab bas bhi karo…
Aloknath: Arrey, I mean my Son’s Car 😀