Funny Reservation Jokes

Patel agitation reaches Bollywood

Ameesha patel & Upen Patel demand reservation of at least 3 movies every year

Parthiv Patel is also asking reservation in Indian cricket team.

Meanwhile…
alia bhatt has suggested Hardik Patel,
if reservation is not happening he can opt for Tatkal !

WhatsApp Jokes | Alia Bhatt, English | Joker

Funny Little Johny joke – babies!

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
“Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends,
“It’s okay, we can play that game again!” 😀

Little Johny Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

How Stock Market works!

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn’t tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked ‘Is the coming winter going to be cold?’

‘It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,’ the weather man responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. ‘Is it going to be a very cold winter?’

‘Yes,’ the man at National Weather Service again replied, ‘It’s definitely going to be a very cold winter.’

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again.

‘Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?’ ‘Absolutely,’ The man replied. ‘It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.’

‘How can you be so sure?’ the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, ‘The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.’

This is how stock markets work.

Jokes, WhatsApp Messages | English | Joker

First Experience after marriage

A Delhi mother was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters get married the same year, so she called them after the wedding and told them

“Dont forget to text me your first night experience and text it in code”

So……. after a week, the 1st daughter texted

“NESCAFE”

and the next week the 2nd daughter text

“WILLS”

the mother being an intelligent woman went to get a Nescafe tin and read the label

“fantastic till the last drop”

went to her husband’s pack of WILLS cigarette and read
“Extra long, king size”

she smiled and said “not bad for their ages”.

After the next week, the 3rd daughter texted

“Indigo Delhi Hyderabad”,

the mother then called Indigo airways helpdesk to enquire about their Delhi Hyderabad flight and they replied

“it’s 5times daily, 7days a week, both ways and the flight duration is 75mins”.

Mother fainted

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, Naughty | Joker

Ghor Kalyug, Who was Akbar?

Teacher: Who was Akbar ?
Boy: Akbar was Gay.

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that?

Boy:-
We have heard
Laila – Majnu,
Heer -Ranjha,
Soni- Mahival,
Romeo-Juliet

But Only
Akbar – Birbal !

Teacher fainted!!

Student Teacher Jokes | English | Joker

I can do this, Can you do that?

I can put Coffee in coffee cup.
Can you put world in World Cup?

No? I Know..
OK 1 more..

I can send my Address on your Mobile.
Can you send your Mobile on my Address?

Nahi.. ??Ok OK

What about this one?

I can eat Cream Biscuits with Cream.
Can you eat Tiger Biscuit with tiger?

Kaha na.. only I m the Best… You are not!

Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Different names of Money

ANSWER THIS ONE?:

Money has different names !!!

In church its called (offering),

in school its (fee),

in marriage it’s called (dowry),

in divorce (alimony),

when u owe someone its (debt ),

when u pay the government (tax),

in court (fines),

civil servant retirees (pension)

boss to workers (salary),

master to subordinates (wages),

when u borrow from bank (loan),

when u offer after a service (tip),

to kidnappers (ransom),

illegally received in d name of service (bribe).

The question is

“when a Husband gives it to his Wife what do we call it??

Answer __________??

Post your answers in comments below … 😀

WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Wife’s Answers and What they mean

You ask your wife something and she says: “Wahan rakha hai..”
This “wahan” can be either:
1. On the table.
2. Or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen.
3. or Antarctica..!!!

When wife says:”Woh laa do..”.., It can be
1. Her Lipstick .
2. Or milk from market.
3. Or an AK 56..!!!

When wife says:”Yeh kya hai..??” It can be:
1. Your Pyjamas on the floor.
2. Or beer 6-pack in fridge.
3. Or a Drone flying over Afghanistan.!!

When wife says: “Tumhe kabhi kuch samajh nahi aata..”…It can be about:
1. A new mushy WhatsApp msg.
2. Or Einstein’s theory of Relativity.
3. Or her latest spending spree in Mall…!

When wife says:”Ab bahot ho gaya…” …It can be:
1. The mascara she is putting.
2. Or the amount of Anthrax that needs to be put in a Biological Weapon.
3. Or the latest spat she has had with your mother..!!!

And….when wife says:
“Main kaisi lag rahi hoon?”

Its GAME OVER!!

It just puts you in a fix which Arjun had faced in Mahabharata, just before the war started.. as to whether you should follow Dharma Or Karma…!!!!

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Johny Jonhy Yes Papa – New Version (Heart Touching Poem)

Johny johny..
Yes papa!

Private job.
Yes papa!

Lot of tension..
Yes papa!

Too much work..
Yes papa!

Family life..
No papa!

Bp-sugar..
High papa!

Yearly bonus..
Joke papa!

Monthly pay..
Low papa!

Personal life..
Lost papa!

Weekly off!
Ha Ha Ha!!

WhatsApp Jokes | Engineer, English | Joker

Chanakya’s advice to married couples

Chanakya writes

“If you want to be
Happy with your husband,
Love him Less &
Understand him more !

If you want to be
Happy with your wife,
Love her More &
NEVER try to Understand her !”

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

After Haircut – Funny male vs female conversation

Female version:
First Woman: Oh, you got a haircut! That’s so cute!

Second Woman: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy-looking?

First Woman: Oh Goodness, no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with it how it is, I think.

Second Woman: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts-that would really suit you. I was going to do that except that I was afraid it would accentuate my long neck.

First Woman: What’s wrong with your neck? I would love to have a neck like yours; anything to take attention away from my awful shoulder line.

Second Woman: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything hangs so well on you. You’re like a walking fashion catalogue. But look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders, I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Male version:
First Man: Haircut?

Second Man: Yeah.

WhatsApp Jokes | English, Girls | Joker

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