Girlfriend on Phone with Boyfriend

GF n BF on phone

BF: hey, aaj khane mein kya khaya?

Girl: tumhe bas yahi batain karni aati hai

Boy: oh oh ok, ye batao…
how should RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?

.

Girl: hmmmm…. daal chawal khaye hai!

Jokes | Hindi, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

What Wife says, What She Really Means

husband-wife-joke-fight

The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to

The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron

The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.

The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.

The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.

Husband Wife Jokes, Jokes | English, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

Jimmy’s Birthday Gift Nightmare

Its Jim’s birthday, so his wife decides to surprise him,

she takes him to a Strip Club.

At the club –

DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
WIFE: How does he know you?
JIM: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
WIFE: And how does he know you?
JIM: He’s on the Bowling Team!

HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?

The Wife storms out…… dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!

TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy….You picked an ugly one this time… Same Hotel?

Today is Jim’s death anniversary 😀 😀 😛

Husband Wife Jokes, Jokes | English, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

Cow & Cat Both are Sisters!

cow-cat-sistersCow & Cat both are sisters..

Now you must be thinking ki kaise?

Jyada mat socho.

Arey simple hai yaar…

dekho..

Cow Hamari ‘Mata’ hoti hai

Aur

Billi ‘Mausi’!

Hui na sisters 😉

PJ - Poor Jokes | Animal, Hindi, Jokes, PJ, Relationships | Joker

Whatsapp Chat Between A Boy and A Girl

Boy: Hello Babe…. (11:45pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:46pm)

Boy: Hey please answer me (11:50pm)

Girl: (last seen at 11:52pm)

Boy: But why do you treat me like that??
Why don’t you answer me? (12:00am)

Girl: (last seen at 12:00am)

Boy: Ok good night dear,
i just wanted to tell you that tody I have received my salary worth Rs.50,000 and i have reserved Rs.20,000 for your shopping….but l think

Girl(typing): ohh hi dear…
Actually mum was here thats why I couldn’t reply…
N wow darling thats a gr8 newz….
I love you a lot..
N when shall we go ? (12:05am)

Boy: (last seen 12:06am)

Girl: Baby please answer me na…
dear i was off last time, lemme know na when shall we go?(12:08am)

Boy: (last seen 12:09am)

Girl: I think your looking very tired cpz off work load..
So now u go to bed n sleep.. well honey, tk cr, (12:10am)

Boy: (last seen 12:12am)
.
.
Girl: sorry to disturb u but 1 thing I forgot that
tomorrow mom dad are not at home in the evening, so u can come to my place after shopping..love u janu..gudnyt.. (12:20am)
Boy(online) – ohh i was preparing for sleep, surely we will meet..c ya tomorrw..mmuuahhh

WhatsApp Jokes | English, Jokes, Relationships, Social Networks | Joker

Last night I had a dream of you

Girlfriend :”Last night I had a dream of you.”
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited):”Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke”
.
.
Girlfriend replied :”We were traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life,
but you were still swimming and
searching for someone.”
.
.
Boyfriend (with luv):”I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were
shouting,
.
.
“Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the”

Jokes | Hindi, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

Wife is like TV and Girlfriend is like Mobile

Wife is like a TV & Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE

Sometimes u enjoy TV, but most of the time u play with ur MOBILE

TV is free for life,but for the MOBILE, if you don’t pay, the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old!
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding

TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn’t

Most importantly,
MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk and listen),but with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)

Last but not least!
TVs don’t have viruses, but Mobiles often do.

Jokes | English, Jokes, Relationships | Ankur

Wife ki Nazar me Aadmi

Wife ki Nazar me Aadmi

Wife ki nazar mein….

Duniya ka sabse PERFECT aadmi: Uske Papa

Duniya ka sabse DUKHI aadami: Uska Bhai

Duniya ka sabse KISMAT Wala aadmi: Uski behen ka pati

and

Duniya ka sabse jhutha, kanjoos and Waahiyaat aadmi: Uska PATI

Jokes | Hindi, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

Madam Coolie Chahiye Kya?

Madam Coolie Chahiye Kya - funny Joke

Platform par khoob saara samaan dekh kar Coolie ne ladki se puchha:
“Madam coolie chahiye kya?”

Ladki ne jawab diya:
“Nahin, Mera boyfriend hai mere sath!!”

😀

Jokes | GF-BF, Hindi, Jokes, Relationships | Joker

Wife’s Number in Husbands Mobile

A newly Married Husband saved his Wife’s number on his mobile as…

“My Life”..

After one year of marriage he changed the number to..

“My Wife”..

After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to…

“Home”..

After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to…

“Hitler”..!!

After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to..

“Wrong Number”..!!!

Hahahha… Poor Husbands 😉 😛

Husband Wife Jokes, Jokes | English, Relationships | Joker

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