Women will be women

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack & was taken 2 the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up ?”

God said, “No, you have another 34 years to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital
& have a face-lift surgery, liposuction, & tummy tuck. She even changed her hair color

Finally she was released from the hospital.

While crossing the road on her way home, she was killed by a truck.

Arriving in front of God, she asked,

“You said I had another 34 years to live.
Why didn’t you save me from the truck?”

(You’ll love this)
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God replied:

“I couldn’t recognize you!”

———–
Aur karo makeup

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Funny Complicated Facts about Women

Seven complicated facts about Women:

1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don’t believe them if complimented.

Extremely Complicated!!

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Lady Driver’s problem

Car Mechanic : madam engine mein oil nahin hai aur break bhi kam lag rahe hain

Lady driver : Choti moti problem to hoti reheti hai. Tum pahele mirror theek Karo

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After Haircut – Funny male vs female conversation

Female version:
First Woman: Oh, you got a haircut! That’s so cute!

Second Woman: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy-looking?

First Woman: Oh Goodness, no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with it how it is, I think.

Second Woman: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts-that would really suit you. I was going to do that except that I was afraid it would accentuate my long neck.

First Woman: What’s wrong with your neck? I would love to have a neck like yours; anything to take attention away from my awful shoulder line.

Second Woman: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything hangs so well on you. You’re like a walking fashion catalogue. But look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders, I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Male version:
First Man: Haircut?

Second Man: Yeah.

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Meri shirt press kar do

hindi-jokes-chutkule-103

Husband: Meri shirt ulti karke press karna.
Wife: Ok.

After 10 minutes

Husband: Meri shirt press ki?
Wife: Nahi…

Husband: Kyun?
Wife: Ulti nahin aa rahi hai!

Hindi Chutkule, Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | Girls, Hindi, JOTD | Joker

Naughty Dubey Chaat Wala

Ladkiya Interval mein apne college ke bahar “Dubey Chaat Waale” ke paas jakar boli:

Pehli ladki: Dubey meri chaat..

Dusri ladki: Dubey pehle meri chaat..!

Teesri ladki: Nahin dube, pehle meri chaat nahin to pera period shuru ho jayega!

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Dubey saala Khushi ke maare chal basaa! 😀

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2 auratein aur aam

2 auratein ek aam ke ped ke neeche baith kar kaafi der se baatein kar rahi thi…

Tabhi achanak ped se 1 Aam neeche gira!

Pehli Aurat: Abhi to pedo par Aam kachhe hote hain, To yeh aam kaise neeche gira!

Isse pehle ki dusri aurat kuchh bolti,
Aam khud hath jodkar bol pada:
“Pak gaya hoon behen ji main itni der se tum dono ki baatein sun sun kar!”

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Two GIRLS Playing Chess!

Two GIRLS Were Playing Chess…
(Joke Doesn’t End Here)
GIRL 1: Chal Yaar Bas Karte Hai… Pak Gaye Hai…
GIRL 2: Haan Yaar… Waise Bhi Tera Sirf Haathi Bacha Hai Aur Mera Sirf unth!
(The Joke Doesn’t End Here Either)
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Phir Wahan Ek Ladka Aata Hai…
BOY: Chalo Girls… Chess Khelte Hain…
Both GIRLS: Nahi… Tum To Hume Aasani Se Hara Doge…
BOY: Chalo Yaar… Tum Dono Aur Mai Akela…
Both GIRLS: Phir Bhi Hum Haar Jayenge…
BOY: Okay… Mai Left Hand Se Khelunga…
Both GIRLS: Yupee… Phir Thik Hai…
(The Joke Still Doesn’t End)
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Dono Obviously Haar Jaate Hai Aur Ladka Wahan Se Chala Jaata Hai…
GIRL 1: Badi Sharmnaak Baat Hai Yaar… Left Hand Se Bhi Hara Diya Usne!
GIRL 2 (Thoda Sochne Ke Baad): Arre Bewakoof Bana Gaya Woh Hume…
GIRL 1: Kaise?
GIRL 2: Woh Lefty Hi Hoga…!

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Husband and Wife’s Shopping Idea

Wife saw board outside a shop

“Monsoon Offer Only for today” :
Banarsi saree 10/-
Nylon 8/-
Cotton 5/-

Excited Wife to Husband:
Give me Rs. 500,
I’ll buy 50 sarees..

Husband – Birbal ki maa, istri ki dukan hai vo !

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Girls applying lipstick in School

A certain private school was faced with a unique problem, where a number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick.

They would apply it in the bathroom, which was fine. But after that they would press their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance janitor would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled mop, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

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