Rahul Gandhi Ka Jawab against BJP’s Kiran Bedi

Rahul Gandhi has decided to field Mandira Bedi against Kiran Bedi as the Delhi CM candidate for Congress.

Any guesses why?
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Because 1 MB = 1024 KB!

Politician, WhatsApp | English, Kiran Bedi, Rahul Gandhi | Joker

Girls applying lipstick in School

A certain private school was faced with a unique problem, where a number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick.

They would apply it in the bathroom, which was fine. But after that they would press their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance janitor would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled mop, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Jokes | English, Girls | Joker

Men vs Women – funny jokes

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most

and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

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The woman who invented the phrase …
“All men are the same”
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.

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Whisky is a brilliant invention.

One double and you start feeling single again.

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There are 3 kinds of men in this world.

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened….

WhatsApp | English, Girls | Joker

Funny Women jokes in English

Q – You know why women love shoes?

Ans – Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.. !

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Q – Why can’t Women Drive well?
Ans – Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

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Q – Why can’t Women stand a day in a Jungle?

Ans – There are no Shopping Centers..

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Q – How to save a Dying Woman?

Ans – Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

WhatsApp | English, Girls | Joker

Funny quote on a husband’s T-Shirt

Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

“All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them.”

Husband Wife, WhatsApp | English | Joker

Difference between Facebook and WhatsApp Conversation

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN Facebook and Whats app CONVERSATION

On “Whatsapp”

Wife: Kab se wait kar rahi hun . Ghar kab aa rahe ho ?

Husband: Abhi kucch pata nahi , dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.

On “FaceBook”

Wife: Dear when will you be back ? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon. ??
(Status liked by 10 of her friends)

Husband: Thanks for being there always …. so lucky to have a wonderful wife like you ! Will be back soon honey. ?? (Status liked by 15 friends, sister-in-law & mother-in-law) ??????

Husband Wife, WhatsApp | English, Facebook | Joker

A Guy used The Ladies Toilet

A Guy in a hurry used the ladies toilet in a posh hotel.. :-)

He sat down.. and noticed four buttons –
WW, WA, PP & APR…

Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER,
he loved it so much..!!

He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it… :-)

He pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh.
Feeling pampered… <3

He decided to press the last button APR.
Continue reading

Jokes | English, Naughty | Joker

Dilbert’s one liners

A good 30 laughs – Dilbert’s one liners:
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I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
When everything comes in your way you’re in the wrong lane.
The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
Born free, taxed to death.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork..
A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
Beat the 5 O’clock rush, leave work at noon!
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Hot glass looks same as cold glass. – Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers
The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
Someday is not a day of the week
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
The road to success…. Is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it !!!

Quotes, WhatsApp | English, JOTD, Oneliners | Joker

Teacher – Who is SRK?

Teacher – Who is SRK?

Alia Bhatt –
A guy who does ‘Titanic pose’ again and again,
without Titanic and without Kate Winslet.. :-D

Celebrity, Jokes | Alia Bhatt, English, SRK | Aditya

3 friends with stories on 100th floor

3 friends lived in a flat on 100th floor..

One day lift was not working..

They decided to tell a story while walking upstairs

1st told a comic story till 50 floor,

2 nd told an action story till 99th floor.

3rd told a horror story in 1 sentence –

“I forgot the room keys in car..” :-D :-P

WhatsApp | English, Friends | Aditya
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