Baby mosquito’s first flying

Baby mosquito came back after its first flying…
His dad asked him, “how do u feel ?”
He replied “it was wonderful daddy… All humans clapped hands for me!! :)”

Moral:- Life is too beautiful, it depends on our way of thinking, why waste time on what people think…

WhatsApp | English | Joker

Husband, Missing Wife and Car

A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:

Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?

Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door… and then the husband started
crying…

Inspector: -Don’t worry sir,…We will find your car.

Moral – “men will be men”

Husband Wife, Jokes | English | Joker

Latest Funny Husband Wife Jokes in English

Wife : “why are u home so early?”
Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”

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Doctor : How is your headache ?
Patient : she’s out of town.

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Marriage is like a public toilet…

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in &
Those inside are desperate to come out.

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

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Wives are magicians……..
They can change anything into an argument.

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Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?

A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don’t have a wife!

Husband Wife, WhatsApp | English | Joker

Wife’s Report Card

Husband was shocked
to read wife’s
Old school report card..

The comment written on report card…

.

Very obedient and
Soft Spoken student !!!

Husband Wife, Jokes | English | Joker

Obama aur Monkey Bath

Today a friend called me from US and asked what is monkey bath?

Even i was shocked to hear that?
Then i asked him why he is asking this ?

He replied that its widespread news here that Obama Shall have the Monkey Bath with Modi.

.

.

Later on I realized that he was talking about “Mann Ki Baat”…. !!

WhatsApp | English, Hinglish, Narendra Modi, Obama | Joker

Obama and Michelle went for dinner

One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn’t too luxurious.

When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the President’s secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private.

They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.

After the conversation President Obama asked Michelle, “Why was he so interested in talking to you?”

She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her.

President Obama then said, “So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant?”

Michelle responded, “No, if I had married him, he would now be the President.”

A WOMAN’s CONFIDENCE NEVER COMES IN BITS & PIECES.

For all the beautiful and intelligent women

WhatsApp | English, Obama | Joker

Rahul Gandhi Ka Jawab against BJP’s Kiran Bedi

Rahul Gandhi has decided to field Mandira Bedi against Kiran Bedi as the Delhi CM candidate for Congress.

Any guesses why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because 1 MB = 1024 KB!

Politician, WhatsApp | English, Kiran Bedi, Rahul Gandhi | Joker

Girls applying lipstick in School

A certain private school was faced with a unique problem, where a number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick.

They would apply it in the bathroom, which was fine. But after that they would press their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance janitor would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled mop, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Jokes | English, Girls | Joker

Men vs Women – funny jokes

It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most

and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.

————————–

The woman who invented the phrase …
“All men are the same”
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.

————————–

Whisky is a brilliant invention.

One double and you start feeling single again.

————————–

There are 3 kinds of men in this world.

Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened….

WhatsApp | English, Girls | Joker

Funny Women jokes in English

Q – You know why women love shoes?

Ans – Because no matter how much & whatever they eat , the shoes always fit.. !

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Q – Why can’t Women Drive well?
Ans – Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..

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Q – Why can’t Women stand a day in a Jungle?

Ans – There are no Shopping Centers..

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Q – How to save a Dying Woman?

Ans – Tell her about a 90% Sale going on somewhere..

WhatsApp | English, Girls | Joker
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