A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:
Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?
Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door… and then the husband started
Inspector: -Don’t worry sir,…We will find your car.
A certain private school was faced with a unique problem, where a number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick.
They would apply it in the bathroom, which was fine. But after that they would press their lips on the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance janitor would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance janitor. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine all the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled mop, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.