Leave Application for watching India vs Australia Semi Final Match

Leave Application

Dear Sir,

Greetings!
I dont want to lie. My country needs me tomorrow. It’s time to display the patriotism by entire nation.
I want to apply for the leave which I call as patriotism leave.
Its India vs Australia in world cup semi final. My nation needs me.
Kindly grant me the leave.

.

.

Auto reply from boss.

.

.

Dear Sender,

I will be on sick leave tomorrow.
Response will be delayed.

Regards.

:-D :-P

WhatsApp | Cricket, English, World Cup | Joker

What if somebody makes a mistake?

If a BARBER makes a mistake, its a new
hair style..!!
..
..
If a POLITICIAN makes a mistake, its a new
law..!!
..
..
If a SCIENTIST makes a mistake, its a new invention..!!
..
..
If a TAILOR makes a mistake, its a new
fashion..!!
..
..
If a TEACHER makes a mistake, its a new
theory..!!
.
.
and
..
..
If a STUDENT makes a mistake, its a “MISTAKE”

Student Teacher, WhatsApp | English | Joker

Husband Wife in Marriage

Wife ask –
why in all marriages girl sits on left side and
boy on right side?

Husband replies –
According to profit and loss statement a/c all
income is on right side and expenses are on left
side”…..

Happy march ending.

Husband Wife | English | Joker

An apple a day

An apple a day….
is almost a thousand rupees a month….!

Visiting a doctor is cheaper…!!

Be practical…!! ;-) :-P

WhatsApp | Doctor, English | Joker

Height of Attitude

“Height of Attitude”

A Sleeping Beggar puts a Notice Board in front of Him..
Plz Do Not Make Noise By

.

Dropping Coins…!!

Use Currency Notes..!! :-D

Jokes, WhatsApp | English | Joker

Pappu in a Bar letting people enjoy

Pappu, walked into a Bar and aggressively shouted his order to the bar man, ”Please give me half chicken tandoori and then give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton, bcoz when I eat, I want everyone to eat!”
Bar man processed his request and gave him his
meal and everyone else their meals.
When they finished enjoying their meal he
shouted for another order, ”Give me a bottle of Champagne and give everybody else a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, bcoz when I drink, I want everybody to drink!”
Everyone was happy and singing praises, saying
Pappu is “The Man”.
When Pappu finished his drink he shouted again:
“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill, bcoz when I pay, I want everyone to pay ”. . .

Pappu’s funeral is tomorrow at 10 am

Jokes | English | Joker

Baby mosquito’s first flying

Baby mosquito came back after its first flying…
His dad asked him, “how do u feel ?”
He replied “it was wonderful daddy… All humans clapped hands for me!! :)”

Moral:- Life is too beautiful, it depends on our way of thinking, why waste time on what people think…

WhatsApp | English | Joker

Husband, Missing Wife and Car

A husband went to the police station to file a “missing person” report for his missing wife:

Husband : -I lost my wife, she went shopping hasn’t come back yet.
Inspector : -What is her height?
Husband : -Average, I guess.
Inspector : -Slim or healthy?.
Husband : -Not slim, but probably healthy.
Inspector : -Color of eyes?
Husband : -Never noticed.
Inspector : -Color of hair?
Husband : -Changes according to season.
Inspector : -What was she wearing?
Husband : -Not sure, either a dress or a suit.
Inspector : -Was she driving?
Husband : -Yes.
Inspector : -Color of the car?

Husband : -Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door… and then the husband started
crying…

Inspector: -Don’t worry sir,…We will find your car.

Moral – “men will be men”

Husband Wife, Jokes | English | Joker

Latest Funny Husband Wife Jokes in English

Wife : “why are u home so early?”
Hubby : “My boss said go to hell!”

————————–

Doctor : How is your headache ?
Patient : she’s out of town.

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Marriage is like a public toilet…

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in &
Those inside are desperate to come out.

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood

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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!

————————–

Wives are magicians……..
They can change anything into an argument.

————————–

Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?

A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don’t have a wife!

Husband Wife, WhatsApp | English | Joker

Wife’s Report Card

Husband was shocked
to read wife’s
Old school report card..

The comment written on report card…

.

Very obedient and
Soft Spoken student !!!

Husband Wife, Jokes | English | Joker
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