Aryabhatta, His Wife and Number Zero

The great mathematician, Aryabhatta, once askedhis wife,
“Will you let me go out alone & enjoy with my friends over every weekend, every month?”

Wife: What is the Probability of me saying yes as per your calculation ?

That’s when Aryabhatta discovered Zero!!

Husband Wife Jokes | Joker

Drunk Husband Joke in English

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night.

He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.

He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.

He smashed the first bottle swearing,
“you are the reason I fight with my wife”.

He smashed the second bottle,
“you are the reason I don’t love my children”.

He smashed the third bottle,
“you are the reason I don’t have a decent job”.

When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full.
He hesitated for only a moment and said
“you stand aside, I know you were not involved”.

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, Sharabi | Joker

Credit Card Call Joke in English

Call from a bank….

“Hello Mrs Khanna Mam”.
We are offering you credit card with best deals!!!.
1. No annual charges
2. No interest on balance for three months
3. Big credit limit
4. No penalties for over spending.

Smart reply by the lady..
” No thanks “.
I have a husband…
1. With lifetime zero fee
2. No spending limit
3. No penalties and most importantly
4. No repayment forever.

Line cut without a word!!

Husband Wife Jokes | English | Joker

Nike was founded by Men

Nike was founded by Men,
SO its tagline says..
“Just Do It”

If Nike had been founded by a woman,
its tagline would have been:

“Just do it.. if you want to… I don’t want to force you..
it’s your life, anyway you don’t listen to me…Do what you
want to do… Who am I to say anything… But it has to
happen, and you have to do it!!”

😛 😀

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Funny Complicated Facts about Women

Seven complicated facts about Women:

1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don’t believe them if complimented.

Extremely Complicated!!

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, Girls | Joker

Funny Drugs for Husbands by Women

Drugs For Husbands!

New drugs for men created by women scientists are waiting for FDA approval…

ANIVERSIA: Triggers memories for birthdays and anniversaries…

SLIMOXIL: Widens male cornea making wives appear slim…

SPORTOBLIND X: Reacts with optic nerve to prevent men from recognizing the word “Sports” on TV…

WORKOCETAMOL: Generates an insatiable desire in men to do household chores…

SHOPHOFOBEX: Makes men eager to take wives for shopping every week and wait patiently…

FLIRTONATE-N: It reduces vision whenever a pretty woman passes by.

VERYTASTYMYCIN : husband always praises wife’s cooking

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Wife wants to relax today!

Wife:
Today, I want to relax,
so I have brought three movie tickets.

Husband: why three tickets?

Wife: you and your parents. 😀

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

First Experience after marriage

A Delhi mother was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters get married the same year, so she called them after the wedding and told them

“Dont forget to text me your first night experience and text it in code”

So……. after a week, the 1st daughter texted

“NESCAFE”

and the next week the 2nd daughter text

“WILLS”

the mother being an intelligent woman went to get a Nescafe tin and read the label

“fantastic till the last drop”

went to her husband’s pack of WILLS cigarette and read
“Extra long, king size”

she smiled and said “not bad for their ages”.

After the next week, the 3rd daughter texted

“Indigo Delhi Hyderabad”,

the mother then called Indigo airways helpdesk to enquire about their Delhi Hyderabad flight and they replied

“it’s 5times daily, 7days a week, both ways and the flight duration is 75mins”.

Mother fainted

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English, Naughty | Joker

Wife’s Answers and What they mean

You ask your wife something and she says: “Wahan rakha hai..”
This “wahan” can be either:
1. On the table.
2. Or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen.
3. or Antarctica..!!!

When wife says:”Woh laa do..”.., It can be
1. Her Lipstick .
2. Or milk from market.
3. Or an AK 56..!!!

When wife says:”Yeh kya hai..??” It can be:
1. Your Pyjamas on the floor.
2. Or beer 6-pack in fridge.
3. Or a Drone flying over Afghanistan.!!

When wife says: “Tumhe kabhi kuch samajh nahi aata..”…It can be about:
1. A new mushy WhatsApp msg.
2. Or Einstein’s theory of Relativity.
3. Or her latest spending spree in Mall…!

When wife says:”Ab bahot ho gaya…” …It can be:
1. The mascara she is putting.
2. Or the amount of Anthrax that needs to be put in a Biological Weapon.
3. Or the latest spat she has had with your mother..!!!

And….when wife says:
“Main kaisi lag rahi hoon?”

Its GAME OVER!!

It just puts you in a fix which Arjun had faced in Mahabharata, just before the war started.. as to whether you should follow Dharma Or Karma…!!!!

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

Patni ki shikayat

Biwi:
Tumhe kuch yaad bhi rehta hai?
Aaj hamari wedding anniversary hai,

.

Pati:
Oh main to bhool hi gaya tha.
Aao, 2 minute ka maun rakhenge. 😀

Husband Wife Jokes | Joker

Chanakya’s advice to married couples

Chanakya writes

“If you want to be
Happy with your husband,
Love him Less &
Understand him more !

If you want to be
Happy with your wife,
Love her More &
NEVER try to Understand her !”

Husband Wife Jokes, WhatsApp Jokes | English | Joker

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